Saturday, February 16, 2008

As good a day as any

What a week! Thanks to anyone who wished me a Happy Birthday, but I failed at that I am afraid – and not just from being a curmudgeon about St Valentine’s Day, either.

I had a tooth out (first time in 30 years or so) on Tuesday, so was on mushy food and no alcohol, and feeling sorry for myself anyway. Then I made the fatal mistake of reading the dentist’s handout, which said if I felt any discomfort I should take some Nurofen.

Well, I wasn’t really in any pain, but certainly discomfort, and being fairly naïve about pharmaceutical drugs (never took any much) I thought they would just soothe the discomfort. I didn’t realize that they would trash my digestive system!

Now, when I tell people, they say “oh, yes, they can do that!” so I should have asked around for the folklore of “doctors’ drugs” before taking them. My dad distrusted doctors and their wares (I didn’t have shots for measles, and whooping cough and polio, etc as a kid) and I continued the tradition, until a few years back when someone told me to try Solpadeine, and I found them excellent for headaches, or tooth stuff, etc. So good, in fact, that they could become addictive (and I met at least one person for whom that was true).

Anyway, I wish he’d said “take a pain killer of your own choice”.

Y'all like doctors 'cause they don't cure shit. They don't cure nothing. Same diseases been hanging out since l was a kid, man. What's the last shit a doctor cured? Polio.You know how long ago polio was? That's like the first season of Lucy. Shit, Fred had an Afro with finger waves! Have you ever met anybody with polio? Anybody feel a little 'poly around you? No. That's right, they don't cure shit.The same diseases been hanging out since I was a kid:AlDS, sickle cell, tuberculosis, cancer, Jerry's kids still limping around. l've been watching the Jerry Lewis Telethon...for probably about years now. Not one stitch of progress whatsoever. That's right, man. That's right, we got AlDS out there. You think they're gonna cure AlDS? No, they can't even cure athlete's foot.They ain't curing AlDS. Shit, they ain't never curing AlDS. Don't even think about that shit. They ain't curing it,'cause there ain't no money in the cure.The money's in the medicine. That's how you get paid, on the comeback. That's how a drug dealer makes his money,on the comeback. That's all the government is:a bunch of motherfucking drug dealers,on the comeback. They ain't curing no AlDS. That's all it is. You think they're gonna cure AlDS? They're still mad at all the money they lost on polio! Curing AlDS? Shit, that's like Cadillac making a car that lasts for years. And you know they can do it...but they ain't gonna do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the space shuttle that can go around the moon...and withstand temperatures of up to degrees.You mean to tell me you don't think they can make an Eldorado...where the fucking bumper don't fall off? They can, but they won't. So what they will do with AlDS is the same thing they do with everything else.They will figure out a way for you to live with it.They don't cure shit, they just patch it up. Get you to the next stop, so they can get more of your money. They ain't gonna cure it. Hopefully, in our lifetime, you're gonna see somebody go: ''Yo, man, you weren't at work yesterday. What's up?'''' My AlDS is acting up.' 'You know, when the weather get like this, my AlDS just pop up".

You have to's good for you...apparently...

All this means that I couldn’t sleep Wednesday, stumbled through my birthday at work in a delirium of nausea and fatigue, went to bed at 6 in the evening and slept right through. Now I just have the runs (something I didn’t really experience since Mexico in 1972), can’t digest anything, and feel exhausted and miserable.

It certainly feels like a glimpse of old age! Losing teeth, mushy food, no alcohol or tobacco, exhausted, achy, and probably needing an adult diaper – oh yes, this seems like a future flash!

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

I called to my men: “This is a good day to die: follow me.”...As we rushed upon them the [soldiers] dismounted to fire, but they did very poor shooting. They held their horse's reins on one arm while they were shooting, but their horses were so frightened that they pulled the men all around and a great many of their shots went up into the air and did us no harm.
Low Dog

We all get to live longer 'on average', but unfortunately no-one can truly claim to be average.
I don't make national average earnings, I don't consider myself averagely intelligent, or healthy or anything like that. People can step under a bus, win the lottery, or unexpectedly live to the age of 100. Even so, that old 'three score and ten' works out about right for most of us. Yeah, I still feel pretty rotten... Oops, gotta run!


Chris Hughes said...

Souds to me as though the Klingon phrase you really need is: nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'

... 'Where is the bathroom?'

Toby said...

heh heh

Thanks Chris!

That may come in handy if I go to any more sci-fi conventions, but they tend to keep Star Trek and Star Wars as very separate worlds...

I almost caused an incident when I displayed my dad's puppet hand position, and Jabba's three fingered hand, at a Star Wars 'do' - as they thought I was giving that Vulcan salute: "Live long, and Prosper!"

I had a round of booing and hissing...

Chris Hughes said...

I understand that the Vulcan salute was based, by Leonard Nimoy, on a synagogue ritual gesture. Some can do it and some can't... it's noticeable that the actress who played a Very Important Vulcan would dip her hands down out of vision so that she could arrange her fingers using her other hand before doing the gesture!

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