Just in from the circus office

“The Future of British Circus. Cirque du Soleil without the Disney and disinfectant”
**** The Guardian 2005

Dear Circus Attender

We thought you’d like to know that the award winning, NoFitState Circus open their critically acclaimed show ImMortal in Barry later this month. You can be one of the few people to see this new production, before it sets off on its European tour. It’s lucky to be local to the best UK Circus!

Barry Waterfront, Hood Rd
19-22nd April
(7.30pm daily and Matinee 22nd April at 3pm)

ImMortal, directed by Firenza Guidi, is mixed media circus for the 21st century, a stunning fusion of film, circus, song, live music and theatre, taking place inside an enormous, futuristic silver tent. This latest promenade event from Wales’s award-winning champions of new circus promises to further defy tradition with an exhilarating and intense take on the Big Top experience.

Prepare to be seduced

In 2005 ImMortal 2 won three major awards, sold out at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, received many 5* reviews and the show is now in demand from Caracas to Copenhagen.

Call us on 0870 126 1771 (from 3rd April) or book online at nofitstate.com to guarantee your tickets now!

PS: If you have a CF62 or CF63 postcode you can buy tickets for previews on 14th/15th April for just £5 as thanks to Vale of Glamorgan for hosting our rehearsals.

“ A no holds barred show, fusing circus, dance, music, theatre and audio-visual, all wrapped up in a spectacular silver tent”
***** The Metro”

Assume Nothing

I wrote a little piece about misleading assumptions for this edition of the Maybe Quarterly, which the fantastic FlyAgaric23 edited and compiled, and added music to...

I kept it short and gnomic, as we had decided that online reading benefits from brevity. As it happens, you will still find quite a lot of longish pieces in this edition, but you'll find at least some of it fascinating, too, I feel sure. Kent on the magick of book-binding, Paul Krassner on Terence McKenna, Bobby's art, people's poems, all sorts.

For background, we have produced 6 editions of the Quarterly, and you can find an Imperfect Index to the freely accessible contents at Only Maybe (the blog).

Telling Tale

A physicist had a horshoe hanging on the door of his laboratory. His colleagues were surprised and asked whether he believed that it would bring luck to his experiments. He answered, "No I don't believe in superstitions. But I have been told that it works even if you don't believe in it."

Learn Something New!

I'd call that one of the tricks I know for keeping young at heart.

Right now I have started an intensive online course about the 8-Circuit model of the bodymind that Leary originally conceived, and that Robert Anton Wilson promoted. The facilitator of the course, Antero Alli, also wrote an excellent book based on this model. Still, the average reader of this blog might not feel a lot of interest in this subject, so forgive me if I occasionally stick some notes up here (I just find it more convenient that carrying around USB sticks, etc).

I also want to learn a little more Japanese, hopefully because of the possibility that I might find myself visiting again, but also because of the mental exercise of learning new languages, and getting to understand different cultures a bit better.

Keep going forward!

Just heard from John at Grateful Dead radio, because I linked to his site (streaming 24/7 music from GD, Dylan, Zappa, Umphrey's McGee, etc.) Find the link on my Home Page - but be aware that some of the pirated GD music may prove of lesser sound quality...if you don't like it, come back later...

Life waves

Sometimes I drift into backwaters and eddies, other times I find myself out in the swift stream.

What a fun trip we had with John and Nicole (currently visiting here in Wales) and Abbey (our host in Japan) and Simon W.

Let's do it again soon!

Knock me down with a feather

I can't believe that I have another cold - the lot, streaming nose, watering eyes, sneezing, coughing, aching.

Duh - feel as miserable as Tony Hancock.

Didn't even go into work today, and I never like missing work unless I simply can't function usefully.

This morning, that's how it felt, and I didn't even have a drink last night, or anything...just couldn't sleep...

Days merge into one: Thursday edit: I now find I have a listing as a "South Wales blog" so I feel I should stop whinging about my health and at least look out the window to talk about the weather (for ex-patriots abroad), or chat about local initiatives, and how the Cardiff Central Library intends to move into temporary accomodation until the 'State-of-the-art' library opens in 2008/9.

Striking Images

When in Tokyo we went to a kabuki play. This wonderful statue gives you some idea of the theatrical impact...

We also saw a Jabba the Hutt ring, and when we tracked it down we found a whole range of Star Wars related jewellery made by JAP and on display in their amazing shop, the Guild Unit Showroom. We then went on to the Bar JAP, and had a great evening...
Check out their Netshop to see the jewellery, costume, clothes, You-ko's artwork, etc.

Snow on the ground

I woke up to snow on the ground in Splott, today. And March has arrived. They call it St David's Day around here. They celebrate the day by wearing either a leek or a daffodil. St David was baptised by St. Elvis of Munster, and it is said that a blind man was cured by the water used for the baptism.

David is sometimes known, in Welsh, as 'Dewi Ddyfrwr' (David the Water Drinker) and, indeed, water was an important part of his life - he is said to have drunk nothing else. Sometimes, as a self-imposed penance, he would stand up to his neck in a lake of cold water, reciting Scripture.

I wear red, for the dragon...

Rise and Fall, Fall and Rise

On my return I found a package from Bobby, which knocked me out. Not only some original artwork from projects we collaborated on*, but issues 1 and 2 of Okey-Dokey.
Even better, for an old performer like me, he gave me a credit in Issue 2 of Okey-Dokey as "Research Magician" which I really feel proud of as a title. Hey, I got a credit in a comic book with something I used to call 'street-cred' although I have no idea what people call that now - and perhaps these comics seem a little to esoteric to really make it in a mass-market.

If Issue 2 goes on sale, you might get it here, at the Madison Underground Press - Okey-Dokey 1 certainly appears in the Store.

*Our work on The Fall into matter through a temptation to manifest and Rise through Initiation and return to the light appears in the Only Maybe blog.

Our piece on The Fall as perceived by Joyce in Finnegans Wake (fall and arise) and manifest in Vico's cyclic view of history appeared in Maybe Quarterly #5, aka Volume 2 Issue #4

Home again, safe enough

Hi to family and friends - just to say I have arrived home safely.

I really enjoyed the trip to Japan, and even the little corner of Tokyo (Asakusa) that I saw I enjoyed, and I met many delightful people:

konnichiwa!

Domo arigato gozaimasu!

More later, when I have looked at my pictures, and perhaps resolved the late payment issue.

I did go to calm down one last time, in the Sensoji temple complex, and wafted a bit of 'smudge smoke' over me, which at least got me home safely...

The sun came out today

Still feeling a little strange, but with the sun out I enjoyed walking around the temple grounds, and then we went to Bandit toy shop to talk to people and sign a few pictures, etc.

We went to the oldest bar in the quarter (160 years old) to finish.

And so to bed for an early start...

G'night world!

Somewhere else entirely

I have a little problem with this Japanese keyboard, and onscreen instructions, but just to say I arrived in Tokyo safely and have a very kind and generous host, Abbey who has taken care of us all, and even taken us to a temple to collect a little good luck (I drew No. 42).

I never meant to do you any harm...

I woke up this morning to presents from the postman, so big thanks to everyone who timed it so well - to Julia and Elle, Yo and Matilda and Dieter, to Clare and Finlay and Nicky, to Emma, to Judith (perhaps my dearest friend) - and for electronic greetings hello and thanks to Ms Noh and Crissie and Hadass.

I feel honoured that people take the time and thought to do these things (I feel fairly notorious for either missing, or ignoring significant dates in people's lives).

I put on a saffron shirt today, both for the spring sunshine colour, and for the Buddhist monk robe colouring. I do not consider myself a Buddhist, but have a lot of empathy for their world-view. And now I get to go to Japan tomorrow, for a week, so I will experience a Buddhist culture firsthand, for the first time in my life. What a great present from the universe!

I think of the essence of Buddhism (and perhaps all true spiritual practice) as harmlessness. I may have hurt people at times through my clumsiness, ignorance or stupidity, but never through malice. I would like to take this opportunity to wish a peaceful day to all sentient beings. You can find a Tibetan take on harmlessness, here.

May all sentient beings become free of suffering. May peace, joy, wisdom, and compassion consume us all. May all beings find the path to enlightenment that lays within the core of each individual as well as in the whole of humanity.

Sixty times around the sun...

I made it!

67,000 miles per hour, 24 hours a day, for 365 days per year, for 60 years....

something like 35,215,200,000 miles...

No wonder I feel tired!

The picture at the end of my Time Piece shows just a decade of that...

Synchronicity

Jules just sent me a couple of pictures from Slovenia, which prove that (1) I am happy sometimes, especially when the sun comes out!






(2) I can be found juggling sometimes - even if only doing silly two-ball tricks at the kid's workshop!

Juggling in July in Ireland

I doubt that many people come to this blog for juggling news these days (as it relates to one of my previous incarnations) but as I enjoyed myself in Slovenia in 2005 (thanks to Mr Jules) I feel I should promote it, and hopefully get there, too, maybe even go visit the tribal turf of the Moriarty clan, over by the Dingle Peninsula - and see one of the sources for my genes.

Irish Juggling Convention

9th - 15th July 2006

Kung Hei Fat Choy!

On Sunday we can celebrate Chinese New Year (Fire Dog), and W.C.Fields' birthday (Old Dog).

This floating festival (Moon Calendar) happened in February, last year.

I will have gone to visit Britain's oldest recorded town - Colchester - so you may not hear from me, even if it counts as a great day!

Still, adventures, even within the UK, should energise a person. Always assuming I don't stumble through the whole thing groaning about the chance of 'going for a little nap'.

I must have got old, without noticing...I felt OK in the sunshine in Barcelona, only a few months ago!
I know one new year greeting, but the Chinese for 'luck' = 'Fu', but apparently you display the word upside down. It seems rash wishing luck to everyone - it doesn't seem like luck if everyone gets it, and wishing all the people in a race (even the human race) 'good luck' just seems silly - as they can't all win. So Good Luck to all my family and friends, fans and like-minded people!


Help one another, for we are all in the same boat.

Brighter Later, Maybe

Still staggering through the wintery days, feeling like hibernating and huddling under a duvet, not just because of the cold/flu thing I had a few weeks back that will not quite go away, but just generally because of my warm-blooded mammalian ancestors.





I hope to perk up soon, and feel bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again – it can’t happen quick enough!

A turn up for the book

From The Times, January 12th

If you thought you worked under pressure, you should spare a thought for those poor librarians

I NEED to move to a far less stressful job, doctor, like fighting fires, driving trains or teaching a class of rowdies in a sink school. I just can’t take the pressure any more.
Ah, you must be a librarian. How did you guess, doctor? It’s the boredom, you see; same old books, same old date-stamping, same old fines for late returners, same old shushing of noisy readers. I need to get out more, maybe save a life or two or pass a signal at red.

Delegates at a conference of the British Psychological Society in Glasgow today will hear the results of a research project which suggests that being a librarian induces more stress than working for the emergency services, driving a 125mph express, or teaching a class of ill-behaved children.

Class of '73

Having a website has many perks. Old friends can find you, for one thing. I was delighted to get an email from one of my more successful friends from the Olde Days, Jim Sweeney (that's him in the stocks), and visiting his site reminded me of where we learned our trade, at the Oval House - a Community Arts Centre which functioned as a Fringe Theatre and training space for so many of the 70s generation - especially those who didn't want to go to a drama school...

One show we put on at the Oval House, called Feast of Fools, graduated to a one month run at The Roundhouse, and we all thought we had joined proper show-biz, with reviews in the newspapers and everything. In that original cast you would have found John Ratzenburger (Cliff from Cheers) and Richard Le Parmentier (Admiral Motti from Star Wars), Jim and me (of course) and Steve Steen (when he was still called McDonald), the amazing Emil Wolk and (as Jim pointed out on his site) some guy called Pierce Brosnan (although he didn't join us in the Roundhouse production, perhaps he wasn't good enough for the big stage - heh).

I have managed to lose most of my scrapbooks over the years, but one survived in a friend's loft, so here you can see what we did in 1973/4. I had just started working as a juggler and fire-eater, so had a shoo-in to a medaeval show, whatever my acting may have been like. I don't know how the others got the job...

I Who Have Nothing

As I remarked on December 20th, if I eked things out, put up with the Scrooge tag, and denied myself any indulgences (how many presents do people buy for themselves at Christmas?) then I could get out of debt. Not that that means much to most people of the younger generations for whom debt=credit, but for my generation that seems like cause for celebration. I hope my mum would have been proud of me, anyway.

My friend Mick and I found a badge in a local shop with 'Back to Zero' enigmatically written on it (presumably an ad for The Stones' album, as the band of that name probably didn't exist back then). In one of our late-night discussions we played with that phrase (as neither of us had any credit rating = no debt, but lived like the poorest in the land - me out of a suitcase, him in a caravan in someone's orchard).

We came to the conclusion that if you had won the lottery, or saved up a fortune, and then went on a spree - "Back to Zero" would be the wake-up call, the reality check (Mick used to say "reality checks don't bounce"), the day to 'get real', the day you realise you have nothing, nada, zilch. (gulp).

If (we realised) you had found yourself in debt (like most people these days in the UK and the US), then the "Back to Zero" day would feel like a real achievement, even if you actually had NOTHING.

That's the day I find myself in. Even the money that I will owe the taxman has got put aside in a savings account. I managed to get here just in time for my birthday.

Who knows if it will last, as contingencies arise (I need some new shoes), and the pressure to spend continues all around me...But even one day like this cheers me up.

Not My Favourite Season

I don't feel at my best at this time of year.

"Winter downpour --
even the monkey
needs a raincoat."

--Basho

Picture from primates.com and yeh, I know a Gorilla gets classified as an ape not a monkey, I just empathise with the picture.

Happy Birthday Uncle Albert!

Albert Hofmann reached the age of 100 today.

What a great advert for his product!

I understand that if you have never had a mystical experience, or if you believed all the propaganda about chromosome damage and jumping off of buildings, you might wonder why I would celebrate his work. Eventually, when research becomes possible again, the value of the discovery might appear in its true light. If you can resist the temptation to jump to conclusions, or muddle him up with Kesey's Merry Pranksters (West Coast) or Leary's Harvard experiments (East Coast), and put him in the company of people like Aldous Huxley and Alan Watts, you might find the subject worthy of discussion. Try his book LSD - My Problem Child

Why not read this recent interview.

The Wikipedia entry should give you enough leads. And if you think I appear a little out-on-a-limb here, I can assure you that a lot of intelligent people still consider this subject worthy of further study. Check out the agenda for the Symposium this weekend.

I found several interesting pieces last year, at Albert's 99th. or check the main MAPS site.

Believe That, and You'll Believe Anything...

In spite of having to take a day or two off work with a horrible cold, I truly enjoyed Richard Dawkins' first of two programmes on last night's television - "Root of All Evil? 1. The God Delusion” channel 4 tv

In a promo he said something like:

"In a world without God you would still have good people doing good things, and evil people doing evil things. It takes religion to get good people to do evil things..."

BIFF! POW!

Dawkins talked to some seriously scary people last night. A U.S. Fundamentalist pastor (and friend of GWB)who eventually threw him off his land, shouting “you're calling my children animals!” because he talked of evolution - so I guess that male pastor doesn't have defunct mammalian nipples. (That God, He’s such a kidder!)

A NY Jew converted to Islam living in Jerusalem who wanted Dawkins to stop his women walking around dressed as whores.

He also showed American freethinkers meeting in secret...I have to say, much though I enjoyed my visits to America, I really have begun to get scared by them as a culture...if about half of them really do think the world is no older than 10,000 years and everything in one of the English translations of the Bible has literal truth. The parallels in mindless group behaviour to Germany in the 30s, or the religious superstition and hysteria of the Middle Ages seem to have grown. Scary.

I reckon Dawkins best soundbite of the night went something like

"None of us believe in the Greek gods, or the pagan gods, or the old Chinese or Indian gods. Atheists like me have just gone one god further."

Don't miss Part 2! “Root of All Evil? 2. The Virus of Faith” Monday, 16th January at 8:00 pm on Channel 4.

Did You Know?

The word "God" does not actually appear in the original Hebrew or Greek manuscripts of the Bible, accepted as Holy by both Christians and Muslims. "God" is an old English word which developed from an Indo-European word, meaning "that which is invoked," which is also the ancestor of the German word Gott (meaning: God).

Some Christians unthinkingly say 'Allah is not God.' This is the ultimate blasphemy to Muslims, and furthermore, it is difficult to understand. Allah is the primary Arabic word for God. It means 'The God.' There are some minor exceptions. For example, the Bible in some Muslim lands uses a word for God other than Allah (Farsi and Urdu are examples). But for more than five hundred years before Muhammad, the vast majority of Jews and Christians in Arabia called God by the name Allah. How, then, can we say that Allah is an invalid name for God? If it is, to whom have these Jews and Christians been praying?

And what about the 10 to 12 million Arab Christians today? They have been calling God 'Allah' in their Bibles, hymns, poems, writings, and worship for over nineteen centuries. What an insult to them when we tell them not to use this word 'Allah'! Instead of bridging the distance between Muslims and Christians, we widen the gulf of separation between them and us when we promote such a doctrine. Those who still insist that it is blasphemy to refer to God as Allah should also consider that Muhammad's father was named Abd Allah, 'God's servant,' many years before his son was born or Islam was founded!"

Web Presence

As part of my job I have to check our internet connection, so I have to think of a new search each time (otherwise I may have just drawn on the cache) – so today I decided to look up old puppeteer co-workers Geoff Felix, Christopher Leith and Ian Tregonning. This led me almost immediately to a Muppet Wiki site where I found a pretty accurate and detailed biog for myself – which I can only think I owe to Habidabad (?) I corrected the couple of easily-made mistakes (the joys of Wiki, compared to some of the misleading info I find on the web, and can’t edit – like the New York film site that says I played the 1st Fairy in Labyrinth!) The other puppeteer entries seem nowhere near as complete, but I may try to contact the guys and steer them that way, as you can write the thing yourself.

Funnily enough, although going to Star Wars cons involves more fun than money for me (don’t give up the day job) – with the exception of Celebration 3 (where I did make some money, but not the fortunes some people hinted at) – getting into the local paper for this recent convention in Cardiff has amused my fellow workers in the library. Not only did I get into the Echo (text here, but not the pix), but a small para appeared in Weird Wales in ‘Wales on Sunday’ (a celeb gossip rag).

Still, I used to work in showbiz so mentioning this stuff doesn't come direct from the ego - you take any publicity, name checks and such that you can. I still have more fun talking to the fans, and being a 'good sport' - like meeting up with Dave Barclay and helping to fold the life-size Origami Jabba at C3. Possibly one of my favourite memories of 2005.

A thought for my 60th year on the planet

"The older I get, the less seriously I take anything," says Wilson. "The Chinese say the wise become Confucian in good times, Buddhist in bad times and Taoist in old age. I'm old enough to be a Taoist. I don't see anything very seriously." Not even, as it turns out, mortality.

"I know I'm going to die sometime soon: five weeks, five months, five years," says Wilson. "I don't know, maybe 50 years if stem cell research moves along. But I don't know and I don't care. And I can't take it seriously anymore. If George Bush is president of the free world, who can take anything seriously?

Premature Illumination

It ain't a fit night out for man or beast...

I realise not everyone thinks WC Fields funny, and many seemed shocked by his attitudes, but I think it very unseemly that so much of the planet should have a raucous party on the day he died. Much worse taste than anything he ever said or did. Observers say he never appeared drunk, but he was touchy about it sometimes. When The Christian Science Monitor complained that Never Give a Sucker an Even Break had "the usual atmosphere of befuddled alcoholism," he wrote back: "Wouldn't it be more terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics to prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol?"


For the younger generation who don't like Black and White movies, can't get his films on DVD (out of fashion), have only ever seen bad prints with muddy soundtracks on late night tv - it must seem strange. I love him as a juggler who brought character to the performance, rather than that pure 'Olympian' skill. I remember him as a person in love with words, and as a fellow curmudgeon (the kind of Dickensian word he loved).

Upon hearing a Christmas carol on the radio, Fields shouted

"Turn it off! Cease! Give me an ax, a heavy tomahawk! The royal mace of England! I'll smash the thing and its illegitimate fugue!"

(Will Fowler, "Sleigh Bells Give Me Double Nausea," Life, Dec. 15, 1972)

According to the Hippy Calendar, on this day in 1965 Tim Leary got busted on the Mexican border, and given 30 years in jail for a small quantity of pot.

How nice to live in a rational and non-judgemental culture.


Godfrey Daniel!

It depends on whether you prefer stress or relaxation, I guess...

It hadn't dawned on me what a (traditionally) female festival this seems like.

Immediate apologies to non-traditional females and males.

Of course, childbirth sits at the centre of the Christian part of it (with cuckolded Joseph standing sheepishly in the corner); then quite a lot of cleaning and cooking gets involved; get-togethers with family members and in-laws(even when you don't get on with them); feeding of the 5000; decorating the house, and wrapping and decorating presents; shopping, of course; giving; selflessness.

For macho males who still believe in bread-winning, and bringing home the bacon (eeurgh)the only game in town seems like the 'my present (given or received) looks bigger than yours'. Conspicuous spending and flaunting of wealth.

I don't really buy that the 'pagans' do shopping, and the Christians do frugal...

...although I do feel amused that the only person who doesn't 'Bah Humbug' me professes Christianity. Not only does he not judge people, but he dislikes the fact that a Christian festival got co-opted by commercialism. As he knows I do not have a faith, he entirely understands and agrees that I shouldn't celebrate Christmas (any more than I do Hannukah or Ramadan or any similar event). Funny that.

I don't understand any of it, so I have tended to sleep through as many of the days as I can and wake up after the fever passes. I don't eat birds, or chocolate or sugar or cream, so most of the 'fun food' passes me by. Like most vegetarians I eat little and often, and don't like the stuffed feeling of one big meal, and I already drink slightly too much, so I don't want to increase that. Funnily enough, I just watched 'The Thin Man', set in the Prohibition period when the US had a law against the sale and consumption of alcohol (although people from all classes consumed it illegally) and marijuana had not yet got banned.

Now I might have enjoyed Christmas in the USA in 1936....

One day I may understand, I suppose.

Thank goodness

Thank goodness that's all over for another year. it went pretty smoothly, actually, after all the build-up and anxiety. Jules asked me out for a Solstice drink with Gordon. Julie working from home so we got to hang-out together. Nice compliments from people about the magazine.

And now I can pack away the notional decorations for another year. I still don't know why we don't all get the day off work for such an important festival. The Jewish people I work with don't get Hannukah off, either, so I suppose I can't complain.

[pardon, what's that you say? Whaaaa? You mean there's more?]

but, but, I did my holiday celebration/libation. Quite enough for me!

Oh well, if everyone gets the day off I don't like to complain...what are they celebrating* exactly?

* The Puritans were sticklers for taking the Bible, and nothing else, as their guide for how to live a good, Christian life. And since the Bible never indicates exactly when the anniversary of the Nativity should be observed, they reasoned that God must not have intended for it to be observed at all. Otherwise a date would have been provided. So they banned its celebration. Between 1659 and 1681 it was actually a criminal offense, punishable by a fine of five shillings, to celebrate Christmas in Massachusetts.

*****************
Christmas only became a legal holiday in England and America late in the nineteenth century. Before then people were expected to go to work on Christmas Day.
*****************
Actually, rather than trudge through my traditional rant, you could just scan December Archives for 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2004. Nothing much changes, although I find great links and quotes I had quite forgotten:

"After my Christmas Lectures I received letters from the pious saying that they would have no objection if only I had qualified my remarks by saying: 'But I should warn you that many well-informed people think differently . . .'

When did you last hear a priest-in the pulpit, on radio, on television, in infants' Sunday School-qualify his statement with 'But I should warn you that many well-informed people don't think God exists at all . . . ?' " - Richard Dawkins

Happy Solstice!

Actually I had a grim, grey overcast morning to greet me, nothing like this sparkling picture from Alaska

However, I cheered up immediately when I realised that a bunch of anarchists had once again pulled it off, and published a quarterly online magazine. To avoid repetition, I should just point you to the Maybe Logic Academy's blog - Only Maybe, where I appear under my avatar of BogusMagus.

Robert Anton Wilson will be doing a course on politics, next, but I suspect I will break my run of only attending his courses, and perhaps elect to do Antero Alli's 8 Circuits of the Brain course, as i missed Bob's.

Back to Zero

Amazingly, in this season of conspicuous consumption and over-indulgence, I may actually find myself clear of debt. In 33 years of self-employment I didn't borrow, having such an erratic and unreliable income, so I never joined 'credit culture'.

I have had a small steady job now for 7 years, so when I decided to join the computer literates I found myself in a position to borrow enough, rather than save up (and people said buying a computer with a credit card gave you some security, too - as well as probably needing a card for online shopping). So I got the damned card, and have owed on it since. Several times I squeezed it down, but things happened to push it back up (computers died, among other things).

Now, finally, I may have got it Back to Zero.

I can live with the Scrooge story, of living frugally, because if we intend to do a Potlatch festival (redistribution of wealth) then I don't think we should offer gifts bought on credit. In the magic of fairy tales, such gifts would come with a heavy obligation. I dislike the idea of someone giving me something and having to work next year to pay back the debt...and actually, of course, getting out of debt really is a gift to others, if having a debt costs others (which it does*).

So hopefully now I can get into the correct usage of a card, paid off each pay day.

And even if you don't think others pay for your debt, giving yourself a present seems another tradition these days. "One for them and one for me..." So perhaps I just gave myself the present I really wanted.

Big thanks to Steve and Ken for making it possible this month.

* Paying for the Other Guy's Christmas Presents
Still on the subject of credit cards and holiday spending, over 1.3 million households in the United States filed for bankruptcy in 1997, partially a result of the huge number of credit cards readily available to virtually anybody who can sign a name (1.5 billion cards circulating out there, a 300% increase just since 1980). The plastic money seems to come out in earnest every November and December, as even cautious folks seem to lose self-control. Bankruptcy costs the U.S. economy over $40 billion annually, a hidden tax of $400 per household when these costs are passed on to consumers, as they usually are. So, when you add up your own holiday expenses in January, throw in a nice chunk of cash for gifts that other people bought on credit but then couldn't pay for.

It's Just a Ride

We reached Bill Hick's 44th birthday - whatever that means when someone died so young. Either way - I miss him. He did his best, with time travel gags - you can listen to his stuff about Iraq and George Bush (Sr) from the 90s and it will freak you out that we went through the same loop within such a short space of time. Everyone knows headlines don't change much - people have such a short attention span - but his stuff sounds really spooky, as in, an exact repetition of events within a dozen years.
And compared to politicians and war economics, how much harm did we druggies do?

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves."

Diary dates and Family Greetings

I changed the clunky Archiving layout I had, with American dating system, to something more manageable. Some of it got lost in the process. I have re-published the whole thing now, so it should work OK.

In the process of checking back on the last two Christmas season's links and comments I found I had missed Matilda's birthday in the flurry of the end of November. [I may not do clowning and slapstick and acrobatics anymore but I can still kick myself].

Happy Belated Birthday to Tils, on her 4th birthday!

And while on belated birthday greetings, Hi K! (a week before her).

Greetings to all my scattered family members...and best wishes for the end of one year on the calendar and the start of another...however you celebrate it (if you do). I hope the new job suits you, Julia!

Goodwill hunting...

On Saturday night I saw 20 Santas on the street, and two of them were fighting, rolling on the floor. I couldn't tell if they meant it, until all the others ran over and piled on top of them - which lead me to believe that I had just witnessed a local manifestation of Santarchy.

Ah glory be!

The season of goodwill has arrived, when normally pleasant people get grumpy and stressed out about having a few days off without actually getting a holiday, as they have so many compulsory things to do. Where happy families become divided about whether to party by having the relatives around, or by having some time to themselves. Whether to spend lots on yourself or help the homeless (the ones who'd feel grateful to have a stable to sleep in). And all that. Traditionally everyone gets annoyed with me because I won't change, and I point out that it's their tradition that doesn't change. As usual, I highlight different calendars, go around saying Happy Hannukah, and generally act in a boorish manner - and they answer with the traditional greeting of "Bah Humbug!" (Curiously, the person saying it used to have to dislike Christmas, now it gets used to greet them!)

As usual, I point out that vegetarians don't get off on banquets. I don't eat birds, I virtually gave up sugar 30 years ago, and I don't like feeling stuffed (like a snake with a pig in the middle). I already drink and smoke as much as my system likes, so can't increase my consumption without making myself (and others, no doubt) miserable. I still have the ambitious plan to (a) pay off the few hundred quid on my credit card that paid to replace my PC that suddenly died (b) find a few quid to donate to charitable causes (c)express my pleasure in partnership and friendship without having to 'shop'.

All of which makes me the Guy Fawkes on the bonfire, the Scrooge in the corner, the Bringer-Down demon... (sigh)

I know this seems a little premature (!) but I wish you all a Happy Winterval! (they came up with that horrible word as a non-denominational, secular greeting - ANYTHING rather than just stop the whole business) with an emphasis on the word BUSINESS.

For those of you of a Christian tendency, I recommend the Buy Nothing Christmas site for some creative ideas.

For the secular, sorry if you missed Buy Nothing Day on November 26th, but you can still get your Gift Exemption certificate and such on the AdBusters site.

And don't forget, as the forces of 'goodwill' surround you complaining that you're spoiling their party, you don't have to bow to social pressure. Don't feel alone - check out CelebAtheists.

If you insist that Christmas involves spending and giving, try giving a present that will really get appreciated through GoodGifts.org or Concern Gifts.

My last word on the subject.

Words don't come easy

I have spent the last year writing and thinking and participating in several quite demanding online courses at the Maybe Logic Academy. I realise that I have neglected my website development, and even this blog, but I have one last rush to do before taking a break.

I must have written thousands of words in these online forums. Now comes the test, as I have taken on the job of trying to herd cats (sorry, edit the online quarterly magazine).

I have written one long piece on playing cards, Tarot, randomness, games, etc which I hope Dak may feel inspired to illustrate. Also, Bobby (a most inspiring artist who has joined me on several of the courses) felt inspired by James Joyce and Vico to produce images for Vico's cyclic theory of history, for which I promised to produce a few words.

I find it very satisfying to work co-operatively with people like this - and I have found a channel for my creativity, which has got a little thwarted by holding down a steady job for 7 years now (even if I enjoy working in a library, have access to all sorts of amazing old books, and have opened several cyber-doors by working with computers). In fact, before getting involved with the Maybe Quarterly I helped start up a blog called Only Maybe, which gave us rather more room to experiment, and for which I regularly write, too.

Hey, I must have written enough for a book! My friend Mindy set out to write a 50,000 word novel in November (along with thousands of other people). I felt tempted, but tried to get realistic about how many other things I had to finish this month.

Perhaps I should take a month or two off from books and computers, and catch up with my card tricks. Phew!

Snow Joke

Woke up to first snow of the year. The Brits panic, as we seem due for 'the worst winter for a decade'. Of course, for the last decade we have had 'unusually mild winters because of global warming' - so presumably they mean winters as bad as they used to feel in the 4os, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. Still, as we never did have routine winters like (say) Finland or Switzerland, we never have devised a culture to go with it. Outdoor plumbing which froze seemed hilariously bad design to me, as a kid. The inability of the grit/salt lorries, or even the snow-ploughs, to get out because of 'the snow on the ground' made me laugh. And yeh, it did get cold, but I liked toboganning.

The charm of slipping and falling down may have drifted away, as I approach 60, but I still feel alternately amused and appalled at our reaction. Already the panic about oil, and heating getting turned off, and 3-day weeks, and disruption, and stock-piling supplies, etc. While compassion fatigue leads to apathy about the people stuck in post-earthquake Pakistan mountains in a cruel winter, we worry about relatively brief inconveniences.

Meanwhile we plan on 'Winterval' (yeeurgh) feasts, to 'treat ourselves' (as if most of us in the West didn't live like medaeval kings and queens almost every day of our lives).

Ah yes, I can feel the first person teasing me with the ever original "Bah Humbug" because I refuse to get all Dickensian romantic about the season of Good Will.

Any moment now... (Still says November, on my calendar), or, 'Pataphysically,

23 As 133 de l'Ere Pataphysique

mirror, mirror...

I saw a couple of great tits fluttering in and around our veranda today. I have put up bird feeders for the mob of sparrows who camp in the holly tree near by, but we do see other birds occasionally.

What I couldn’t understand was why they kept coming right inside and getting so excited. It turns out that my partner has not only put plants, mobiles and other knick-knacks around, but has included an old mirror. The birds had seen themselves in the mirror, responded in a territorial manner, and now persisted in trying to see off the intruders. Of course, their programs evolved in a world without reflecting surfaces, so I can’t actually think of them as stupid. At the same time, I wonder if they will exhaust themselves with this, and whether I should cover up or remove the mirror. Just as I feel torn between laughing and feeling sorry for them, I also feel torn between ‘doing the right thing’ and seeing if they can figure it out for themselves.

Like Philip K Dick, I do wonder sometimes where my own mirror lies, and what form it takes, and whether Higher Intelligence laughs at me, too, rather than simply helping me out by removing the trap. On the other hand, perhaps I prefer the chance to figure out if I should consider myself my own worst enemy.

But man, proud man,
Drest in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he’s most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As make the angels weep.

Measure for Measure 2.2.117

I quite enjoyed this enigmatic comment from the English astronomer Sir Arthur Eddington, in “Space, Time and Gravitation”:

“We have found a strange footprint on the shores of the unknown. We have devised profound theories, one after another, to account for its origins. At last, we have succeeded in reconstructing the creature that made the footprint. And lo! It is our own.”

Life's a Circus...

I have had a hectic few days. I had promised to give a pre-show talk while Circus Oz performed at the Millenium Centre, so on both Thursday and Friday I got to pontificate about the history of circus, 'new' circus, non-animal circuses, etc.

On Saturday I went to the AGM for NoFit State Circus and heard reports of a successful summer, in which they won several awards, and I got elected as a Trustee,too. I am still not entirely sure I understand all the obligations of a Charity Trustee, but enough to accept the responsibility.

The AGM happened in their new training space for the winter - in a large hall at the back of the Ebenezer (no jokes at the back please)Church. Somewhere high enough to rig ropes and trapezes and the like.

According to this site:

The following classes/workshops are planned:

Mondays: 8pm-10pm Intermediate Trapeze £4 (tutored)

Tuesdays: 7pm-8:30pm Acrobalance Beginners £3 (tutored)

Wednesdays: 8pm-10pm Acrobalance Skillshare £2 (experience required)

Thursdays: 7pm-8pm Unicycle Hockey £1
8pm-10pm Juggling workshop £2

Classes are planned to start week beginning 21st Nov, but it depends how many people are interested so if you would like to attend any of the classes call the Nofit State office on 029 2048 8734.

The party on Saturday night left me pretty ragged on Sunday - and now I am back to work.

Thought for the Day

If I had a morning radio slot, this would form the basis for my 'little chat'.

A young woman I know got burgled, and lost passport, camera and cash. She came round to visit, as she was obviously upset at the invasion (student zone, firework night, people out). At some point in the evening she got a phone call, and soon the doorbell rang, and it was a young man come to collect his phone from her! She had found it in the street, waited until one of his friends called, then asked them who he was, and how to contact him (or at least, to let him know it had been found). "Thanks a lot" he said "there aren't many honest people like you around".

I told her that such a good deed deserved a return. The following day someone rang to say her passport had been found, and could she come and collect it. Obviously too hot for an amateur, it must have been thrown away. She went round to find a neighbour who had found her bag with both passport and camera inside. She lost £50, but money (as we all know) is just money. Identity theft (or even just the inability to go abroad without paying again for the privilege) and the loss of recent photos can feel much more upsetting.

Instant Karma, you see.

Here's Tom with the Weather...

Mood Swings

Moods swing at this time of year, but the simplest thing can still cheer me up.

For all the gloom about having to move the Central Library into temporary accomodation, and not knowing the plans, and approaching 60, and the light going, and all that - I also get pleasant surprises. Emails from old friends (one of the groups I keep a blog for) - the news that my Murray Roman tracks will arrive back clean (another reason for using a blog - without my having mentioned finding those albums here, another human looking for them would not have found me). He's now cleaned up the crackle of 30 year old albums, and dropped them onto CD. Poifect!

Blogs might lead to jobs, reunions, fresh starts, etc. You see I cheered up again!

Next week I get to see Circus Oz - because the Millenium Centre have again 'announced a talk' and either been let down, or failed to hire someone. I will reprise my 'History of Circus' speech in the foyer before the shows next Thursday/Friday. Last year (when Cirque Eloise came here) very few people turned up to listen so I don't want to over-prepare, but I still get stage-fright after all these years.