WC Fields in one bed, wife in another, phone rings:

WC "Shall I answer the phone dear?"

Wife snaps "Of course!"

WC (mumbles) "Oh yaas, of course, of course...."

He gets up, stubs toe, goes to phone:

WC "Hello, no, no, this isn't the maternity hospital..."

goes back to bed

wife: "Who was it on the phone?"

WC "It was just someone asking if this was the maternity hospital, dear"

wife "What did you tell them?"

WC " I said, no, it wasn't."

PAUSE

wife "It's very strange, the maternity hospital ringing you at this time of night..."

WC "They weren't ringing me dear...they were asking if it WAS the maternity hospital..."

wife "Oh so now you change your story..."

WC "I didn't change the story, dear, what I said was..."

wife turning her back, dismissively "Don't go making it worse, I don't want to hear any more....the things I have to put up with, etc"