"If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture."
(excerpt from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey (aka Jack Handy)
While looking for the source I came across Crooked Cucumber If you go there, you may find me rummaging through the bins, but it's a digression.
Here's one page of Deep Thoughts
Another one here
Still, his lawyer isn't happy about publishing on the web so watch your back.
I don't really know him, and I guess he isn't big in the UK as we don't get Saturday Night Live - so I'll leave you to Google away on your own.
"The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, 'Go ahead, do whatever you want, it's ok by me.'"
© ® ™ Jack Handey (in case he is joking)