For those who remember me when I was clowning - I am 'hell for leather crazy' ever since I realised that most people on the planet were living within strange little belief systems (and I knew I had my own - the British have lots of nonsense from when they - briefly - ruled most of the planet).

I knew that I just couldn't see the narrow viewpoint that had trapped me because anyone's local culture and first language always seems like 'normal' or 'natural' or 'real life'. Worse for the English, in a way, because it has by chance become the world language, so there is little reason to learn a second language and so discover that the world isn't 'labelled' with the words that you happen to use to describe it.

I will come back and try to write this for people who are using English as their second language - I always do - or who are dyslexic, or five years old, or whatever. I love to communicate, and if you meet me you know that...I'll use anything to get through.

Sometimes it might be mime, sometimes magic tricks, sometimes alcohol - WHATEVER it takes to get through to people and let them know we are all so similar, and all want and need the same things.

I am ashamed (in a way) that my Spanish is limited, my French so clumsy, and from then on all I have is a phrase or two of other languages to get through. But humans can get through to each other easily enough if they want to. We've been doing it for thousands of years (in our nomadic way) and we can do it so much more easily now - if only we would use all our intelligence and resources for LIFE-ENHANCING STUFF rather than greed and violence, and selfishness, and narrow-mindedness and fear.

I have just joined the Bucky Fuller Institute (they are certainly going the right way); I have just taken a domain name with Tokelau.

I had my youthful enthusiasm almost squashed by a British upbringing of inhibition, state religion, and snobbery but I have been 'fighting back' ever since. Although 'fighting' isn't the model I want to promote. I am not a fight promoter.

Just Resist.

Be obstinate.

Lay low when you have to, even if it is for years.

As James Joyce recommended: "Silence, Exile and Cunning".

Hooray for our side!

At the bottom of my Home Page you will find the RetroStats counter. I haven't hidden the statistics, so if you click on the logo it will take you into the detailed breakdown.

The most interesting part for me is 'Country' (although 'Language' is interesting, too. There are 12 listed at the moment.) Nice to see visits from Tokelau logged - they are checking me out because I asked permission to sell-on their domain names.

Actually I have no desire to make money out of it (although I would like them to make money out of it) - as I think that spreading the word about their free domain name offer is more important, right now, until they reach critical mass.

I will apply to be an ambassador, as well. I just like the idea, and their approach - it's not like I am likely to get to visit (even though Julie already wants to retire there, as soon as I described the place!)

To recap from their Home Page:

"Tokelau is a small place. In September 2003 a delegation of the team of Dot TK went to all three atolls to present what the Internet can mean for such a small country.

In meetings with the Council of Elderly we came to the conclusion that Internet can not only bring advanced communications, but also medical aid (Telemedicine) and a better education. "

I LINK, THEREFORE I AM

I have just registered a free domain name with Tokelau's enterprising people, at Dot.TK.

As a country they were granted the Internet domains ending with .tk, and they decided to give them away (it's part of their Pacific Culture to share equally).

It was easy to register, and (unlike bigfoot) it really is a simpler address to give people.

www.tobyphilpott.tk

My only problem right now is that the connection to the server seems a bit erratic, but I'll monitor that for a bit and let you know how it goes.

Do you remember Googlism?

Googlism for: jabba

jabba is back
jabba is really saddam hussein
jabba is georgeous
jabba is actually really saddam hussein read on
jabba is a legless
jabba is the realm of the demoded
jabba is the realm of
jabba is more than just a ski resort
jabba is usually used for a plateau in local language
jabba is an interstellar fence
jabba is much more than just a ski resort
jabba is pretty much a slug means that even when his barge blew up
jabba is using mind control to play with my heart
jabba is the brain child of it's creator
jabba is sirius
jabba is absolutely wrong
jabba is provided on the web
jabba is my big fluffy himalayan cat
jabba is in no way a mean cat; but just like the next human
jabba is included which is slightly different than the one in the original
jabba is said to have been designed by a huttese artist named dreyba
jabba is there waiting for him
jabba is clearly a legend among mofos for his physical attributes and
jabba is not the same jabba we see in return of the jedi
jabba is far too expressive in this chapter of the star wars saga
jabba is smoking a hooka
jabba is one of the galaxy's most successful crime lords
jabba is een hutt
jabba is a painting of the table and fireplace
jabba is used to screwing all sorts of races
jabba is known for having a hand in all sorts of activities
jabba is unmistakable
jabba is a tall humanoid with a walrus
jabba is interesting
jabba is first scene
jabba is a reasonable
jabba is attached to
jabba is hungry
jabba is just as disgusting as ever
jabba is
jabba is constantly exposing and thwarting the efforts of the criminal hutt gangs and is being chased by a bounty hunter hired by the hutts called kern al
jabba is noted in this section not because he clearly appears in the movie
jabba is that you?
jabba is only amused and says that he likes the headhunter and that he will therefore give him
jabba is merely a front for the lashkar
jabba is the notorious bounty hunter boba fett
jabba is the grossest of the slavering hulks and his scarred face is a grim testimonial to his prowess as a vicious killer
jabba is of the race hutt and like most of his species
jabba is the canadian coffee chain store where calgaryâs gay crowd grabs their jabba
jabba is about 8 months old
jabba is bipedal and does not speak huttese
jabba is a gruff and grisly crewman aboard the same ship as solo
jabba is nowhere
jabba is one of the best choices
jabba is aboard
jabba is unmaterial
jabba is much bigger than he was meant to be when the scene was shot
jabba is getting very impatient
jabba is all too obviously a computer graphic
jabba is the "other" win32 client
jabba is asleep on his throne
jabba is very ugly and has drool dripping down his mouth onto his belly
jabba is equipped a hotel with 52 rooms including four suites; restaurants with seating capacity for 100 people; a coffee shop for 50 people and an
jabba is a big
jabba is a good natured
jabba is highly intelligent and rarely overlooks details or dangers
jabba is behind the curtain
jabba is edited onto 20
jabba is aware of his presence
jabba is really jabba? jth
jabba is sucks
jabba is in town
jabba is more careful than before
jabba is going to blow up something's main reactor
jabba is situated on main karakoram highway; the distance by road from islamabad is 314 kilometers
jabba is noted in this section not because he appears in the movie
jabba is so fun
jabba is very keen on cunning
jabba is made of three pieces
jabba is no big deal
jabba is digitally inserted into a conversation with han solo right before the pilot takes off with his new clients
jabba is in his "castle" near the pit with leia chained to him
jabba is full sister
jabba is a millionaire
jabba is a hutt who knows that it's all about the little differences
jabba is furious and pulls her toward him
jabba is pleased
jabba is suspicious about this random stranger about whom he knows nothing
jabba is pitted against rival crimelords

"Sometimes the magic works. Sometimes it doesn't".

Chief Dan George (as Old Lodge Skins) at the end of Little Big Man.

Interest Rate start to go up again (after 4 years)

Ms Cook added: "The consumer has kept the economy going very nicely during the tough times of the last two years. It's now time for the rest of the economy to take up the running."

By getting people to promise away their future earnings at modest rates of return (for them) or large rates of interest (in the long run) for the lenders – basically, by swearing that we were ‘good for it’ - we have put off the ‘natural event’ of a leveller, bringing borrowing (particularly on houses) back in line. The idea that the consumer keeps the economy ‘going’ is crazy Bush/Blair Speak (after 9/11 we were urged to go out and spend) because we are also the workers (the 'rest of the economy') who aren’t being rewarded properly.

“Manufacturers had urged the Bank to sit tight over interest rates while the green shoots of a recovery in the sector take hold.”

Do these green shoots of recovery remind you at all of Chauncey Gardner and ‘everything will be all right in the garden….” ?

He added: "Despite more encouraging world growth, we should be clear that the economic recovery is still at an early and extremely fragile stage.
Most analysts are predicting a steady rise to a figure of 5% by the end of 2004."

We still measure ‘growth’ by GNP, which includes every wasteful activity, too, and is not a green measure at all – just an obsession with bigger, faster, longer, etc.
A quarter-point increase will add £9 a month to an average mortgage of £60,000 and nearly £15 to a mortgage of £100,000.
Savers should benefit from higher rates.

Savers? Don’t you mean the money lenders? Who else has money saved…?

If 0.25% raises a £100,000 mortgage by £15 per month, does that mean that going up to 5% (from 3.75%) would increase it by... a further £75 per month over the next year?

Day off - nice and peaceful.

Did a bit of tidying up, and reading through my latest magic books and tricks. I have been collecting up some new links which I will add to this page (a first test) soon.

I have just sold my crew shirt for Labyrinth (along with a bunch of photos, call sheets, story boards, etc) - so I am beginning to feel like I understand eBay (just a little bit).

Of course, I am still dealing with old hands at this market place, but it has been fun, that's for sure, much like going to conventions and signing photos and chatting to people.

Hi Sharon!

Well I managed to stumble through the halloween weekend without coming to any grief.

Getting chimneys swept, and ordering coal, now.

I still don't know how I will get through Christmas without annoying people. The best I can come up with this year is to take some money I was going to spend on trivial presents, and donate it to a charity - and just notify people where the money for their pressie went. It's a bit of an involuntary contribution, I suppose, but it would make me feel better. If I HAVE to spend money because of the season (and forget that I only earn enough for ordinary days) then at least I could give it to something I feel good about like the Bonobo cause, or the Great Apes here, or here.

I keep remembering just how small I felt when I was growing up in London, and how much smaller I felt when I found how big the world was.

Since then, we all live in a shrinking world. Anybody could find themselves on the wrong end of a camera, or the wrong end of a journalist. Anybody (dream on!) could be in the 'right place at the right time' to take advantage of the modern world's ability to amplify any person or event to world sized. Of course, some people are doing it on purpose (hi Mr Blaine) but others find themselves accidentally at the focal point.

This is all to do with systems theory, (and the amplification possibility was for a while known as the Butterfly Effect - though usually to indicate the accidental form of amplification). When I was young I witnessed this snowball effect when the Beatles became famous. Now I happen to think they WERE the most talented of a bunch of musicians back then, but not THAT MUCH MORE talented.....

It's the amplification effect - the howl of feedback - the denial of any other possibility - and the ignoring of any conflicting evidence or opinions....

These are just notes to myself - they are not intended to be enlightening to others - I will one day finish my piece on systems and systems thinking...

hey ho.

ADBUSTERS

Don't forget

Buy Nothing Day is coming around again....

In the US and Canada it is November 28th (day after Thanksgiving) but in the UK and Europe it is November 29th.

Just go one day without shopping...

You can even check out Buy Nothing Christmas, if you are so inclined...

Ah tea-break!

so it's Halloween again. It never was a party when I was a kid, but American influences and capitalism's desire for a 'theme' to sell junk with have conspired to create yet another silly holiday. To me it's the Celtic New Year's Eve. The trick or treating is just like the carol singing / begging for food and drink bit that the poor used to do at Christmas.

We don't have ordinary days any more. Every day is a winner. Every day is a feast (hence the obesity epidemic), a day for a 'treat'. I don't know why we don't just get the calendar and combine all the days we have - from Mother's Day (traditional) to Father's Day (recent invention) - from Christmas to Easter - from birthdays to wedding anniversaries - from No Smoking Day to Smoking Day (when smokers are allowed to enjoy a cigarette ANYWHERE without anyone being allowed to complain - well, I know I made it up, but perhaps it's only fair).

So, eventually , we could end up with a continuous calendar and they could ALWAYS sell us something - National Pink Day - Random Acts of Kindness Day - .

For me this is an appropriately 'death and spirits' day, as my best friend (at the time) managed to drop dead on this day several years ago...while I was clearing out my mother's effects shortly after her death. It was all a bit of a shock. Not a lot to celebrate, but just time for a quiet thought for 'absent friends'.

And one of Ali's black cats just died (suddenly) too.

Well, it was very interesting watching people bid on the Labyrinth script. What a strange and remote business eBay is - people could be literally anywhere. I have stuck the old crew shirt up now, just to see what happens. I must admit, I still don't find buying and selling things very easy.

Anyway - I got some magic books for Alf this week - and fascinating stuff it is indeed. I loved the warped way of thinking that goes with magic. It's the same ingenuity which is so crucial in (say) heist movies...

I love the thinking most. I am not much of a practitioner any more, but you never know with a revitalised hobby...

Who was Bucky Fuller?

Fuller was a practical philosopher who demonstrated his ideas as inventions that he called “artifacts.” Some were built as prototypes; others exist only on paper; all he felt were technically viable. He was a dogged individualist whose genius was felt throughout the world for nearly half a century. Even Albert Einstein was prompted to say to him, “Young man, you amaze me!”

In 1927, at the age of 32, Buckminster Fuller stood on the shores of Lake Michigan, prepared to throw himself into the freezing waters. His first child had died. He was bankrupt, discredited and jobless, and he had a wife and new-born daughter. On the verge of suicide, it suddenly struck him that his life belonged, not to himself, but to the universe. He chose at that moment to embark on what he called “an experiment to discover what the little, penniless, unknown individual might be able to do effectively on behalf of all humanity.” Over the next fifty-four years, he proved, time and again, that his most controversial ideas were practical and workable.

Check out the Bucky Fuller Institute and Spaceship Earth.

I just joined and went for the map and crew shirt.

WHAT IS HUMANITY'S OPTION FOR SUCCESS?

“Think of it. We are blessed with technology that would be indescribable to our forefathers. We have the wherewithal, the know-it-all, to feed everybody, clothe everybody, give every human on earth a chance. We know now what we could never have known before—that we now have an option for all humanity to “make it” successfully on this planet in this lifetime. Whether it is to be Utopia or Oblivion will be a touch-and-go relay race right up to the final moment.” – R. Buckminster Fuller

Why not check out the Simple Living Network anyway...

Or this sad but relevant article, for creative types who don't want to get trapped into work they don't enjoy....

Is this guy right?

DISTRESSING FACTS OF A 30 YEAR MORTGAGE:

* After paying 15 years on your 30 year mortgage, you'll still owe 90% of the amount you borrowed!

* After paying nearly 24 years, you'll still owe over 50%!

* You will pay over 3 TIMES the amount you originally borrowed before paying off your mortgage!

* To make matters worse, the FDIC estimates that 1 out of every 2 mortgages are miscalculated, overcharging homeowners $8 - $10 billion dollars each and every year!

* Of the 52 million mortgages in the U.S., only 2.7% of homeowners ever prepay for more than a year!
(How sad).

* It will take nearly $500,000 in gross income to net $300,000 in mortgage payments to pay off a $100,000 loan!

* If you move about every 5 to 7 years, like most Americans, you are really paying 91% of your payments toward interest on your loan!

* After paying every month for 10 years, you will have paid off only about 10% of your loan!

WEEKLY OR BI-WEEKLY: What the Experts are Saying!

Your mortgage is costing you $50,000 to $100,000 more in unnecessary interest payments.

For those of you who have picked up on my anarchist anger (with a green tinge) I will offer another object of hate.

The Enclosure Acts.

I am not romancing the life of Celts or Saxons, but nevertheless it was only really after the Norman Conquest that so much land was taken from the common people and given to individuals. And there was a fresh wave of Enclosures in the 17th 18th and 19th Centuries in the UK.

What's worse is that (by colonisation) we passed this concept of 'land ownership' around the world - imposing it on people to whom it made little sense to 'own' land....

"A third problem was the U.S. Government's inability to understand the native way of life and religious practices. The standard EuroAmerican way of life revolved around the private ownership of land and property. These ideals were not embraced by Indian Nations. Theirs was a communal life style with no concept of private land ownership. Some nations were nomadic but maintained a specific territory they considered their own. Others were sedentary farmers but maintained communal fields and shared their harvest. All of this flew in the face of the EuroAmerican "religion" of privatization and had to cease."

We use bits of paper with magic runes on them to 'prove' ownership. Accurate maps are to do with property boundaries. Native 'maps' were different.

"The obvious difference between European and native maps was the result in their differing views of land usage. For Europeans, land ownership was determined by "right of discovery." The native concept of land stewardship contrasted with the European view. While the colonists engaged in a land grab which required deeds, maps and written records, Natives relied on their oral tradition to describe social relations with nature. All land was viewed as commonly owned, while fishing and hunting grounds and crop fields were assigned to clans or bands. Land use reflected mobile, migratory patterns that changed with the seasons, and sometimes through tribal warfare.

That a society would require paper to demarcate land was a totally alien concept to Native Americans. "

And then in recent decades, as people got bored with the 'landlord' role, with its responsibilities for maintaining the property, collect rent, etc, the rich elite came up with another grand scheme - keep the reins on the land, but get people to borrow huge sums to hand over in a lump (rather than a trickle of rent) - tell them they now 'own' it, and leave them with the problem of paying it all within their lifetime...how they got people to sign a 'death pledge or wager' (mortgage) is another matter.

A serious consequence of this pattern was that (if you don't have to pay cash, but just promise your life away) the bidding for this dubious pleasure of 'ownership' can go through the roof ("I'll promise 20 year's earnings!" I'll promise 25!" "OK I'll promise all the money I'll ever earn, and I'll throw in my children's earnings as well") and this ever-receding debt is invented...as the 'value' of the property goes up...so people have to promise more. And the rich, the banks, the original landowners get all that money 'up front'...and when people find they can't pay it, guess what happens, it turns out they never 'owned' it at all, as it reverts to the bank...

And I am studying the 'short cons' like The Three Card Trick, but those street hustlers can't hold a candle to the big money and the old money people....

[rant over] [he sings...] "Don't Fence Me In....."

"Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above,
Don't fence me in.
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love,
Don't fence me in.
Let me be by myself in the evenin' breeze,
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees,
Send me off forever but I ask you please,
Don't fence me in."


....


"I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences
And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can't look at hovels and I can't stand fences
Don't fence me in."

"If you can see your path laid out
in front of you step by step, you know
it's not your path. Your own path you
make with every step you take. That's
why it's your path."

--Joseph Campbell

Strange time warp last night. I went down to the juggling workshop, where people were still buzzing from the show last week. I think it is a motivator when people see a good show - they suddenly realise they could be in the next one! That makes people work on the skills with a bit more enthusiasm.

I saw Andy and Jenny with their new baby. "Welcome to the planet!"

Then Cathy gave me a copy of a book from 1976 with me juggling on the cover! It's out of print and I haven't seen one for years. Strange to see oneself at age 27, juggling under a strobe...it was the first rip-off. John Hedgecoe never did pay me for modelling that shot...

Then to top that I bumped into Simon from the original Balls-up crew who remembered me from when I ran a juggling convention in Spain, up in the mountains at Castellar de la Frontera. It was a good time, but it was also a long time ago (back when I was 40 years old, in 1986!)

Sadly, my scanner has died, so it is hard to put photos up on the web which were not digital. I have recently found some old negatives (having lost all my photo history in a disaster a few years back) and have got a few prints done. Mostly on the set of Labyrinth, with Keili...with me looking forty years young.

Hey ho, I guess I'll get to replace it with what I get from the script on eBay. I always seem to break even - I never get in front! Just the way this life is, I guess...

I didn't exactly choose to be a poor recluse living in 'voluntary poverty' - it was more the 'involuntary poverty ' of someone who was willing to starve to do work he enjoyed (Artist in a Garret) - or, if you aren't romantic - someone so selfish and irresponsible that he never really played the game or paid his way in society. Take your pick.

Still - breaking even is pretty good, you know, in a world of debt (called 'credit' in Orwellian Double-Speak).

I was very happy yesterday, as I managed to get to see Jacques Tati's "Play Time" in a cinema. I saw it originally in 70mm which was the way it was shot, and I remember how it doesn't work on television (so much of it depends on the long shot). It was uproarious...wonderful!

I had forgotten so many details. It takes me back to the 70s, when I was studying clowning, and made a point of seeking out ALL films with physical comedy in, and watching them analytically. Tati was always one of my favourites. Part of the reason is the genuine kindness behind the comedy - it is (at the most) teasing about other people's folly, never cruel or sarcastic. He is quoted as saying "I should like to make films that are not lowering to the spirit".

The close observation of the tiny comedy moments of everyday life is flawless, and was extremely relevant to me as a street performer (not working in the disciplined and controlled environment of the theatre).

His films do not force jokes on you - they use wide shots, so you can see the whole body (so much comedy is in legs), and can choose where to look on the screen. There are little details everywhere - and elegant visual jokes and echoes, as well as perhaps the most creative soundtracks ever.

He says he likes his films to be "about everybody but also about nobody big" and that is evident as your eye wanders around the frame, watching all the different characters who (in ordinary movies) would be merely 'extras'....

Here's a thing, I knew you were going to look in here today (spooky isn't it?) so I did a Tarot reading for you and this is what it came up with. I could do it in more detail if I could meet you, of course, but I hope you find it interesting:

"You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic"

If you want to pursue this and get a more detailed reading, look at my earlier posting, under Barnum.

It's funny that magic should be cool again. (Some of these slang words just keep on keeping on, how come 'cool' doesn't go out of fashion?)

I like the exposure of psychic frauds, but then I enjoy anything that destroys dangerous illusions (delusions) like the false over-importance people give to religion, money, politics, etc. Unfortunately, many of the methods are (of course) the same. It is hard to stand by and hear co-workers talking as though David Blaine can levitate, and REALLY hard not to go 'it's just this!' [Warning:spoiler: don't go there if you prefer the illusion]

Everyone knows David Copperfield doesn't claim to levitate, he is a stage illusionist who can appear to fly...but I saw actors flying (live) on stage in Peter Pan when I was about 6 (1952). Mr Copperfield does a beautiful job of it, but it's nothing new. Blaine was walking in that dangerous territory that Geller took over (not just allowing people to be mystified, but implying even more). I saw a South Park with a David Blaine cult which was spot on. People wanna believe. There's little we can do about it. Silly explanations like 'The Masked Magician' stuff is OK, but dull. Trying to stop people falling for obvious cons and false claims is well-intentioned but almost futile (ever argued with a fundamentalist Christian about whether the Old Testament is actually the Jewish Torah? - I mean, I just say 'look it up' but I bet they don't.)

You can still get thrown out of the Magic Circle though, either for exposing tricks, or for claiming 'special powers' (although that's a fine line for mentalists and the Derren Brown's of this world). Here's an Angry Magician reviewing a rather crap program called 'Secrets of Magic' and here's the story of the Magic Circle asking the people who produced it to resign.Look at Sept 21st.

And, in passing, I find it hard to feel sorry for Roy after getting mauled by the white tiger. My cat used to scratch me sometimes, if I touched a nerve, (nothing personal) so if you own really big cats and then tap them on the nose with a microphone, it's kind of your own fault, in my opinion. I feel more sorry for the tiger.

So Mr 'chubby' Blaine doesn't seem to have died...most people are sure he is swapped out when the cherry picker goes up to clean the box. It's probably 'agents provocateurs' who throw the eggs and paint balls anyway (otherwise they would have no excuse to take a cherry-picker anywhere NEAR the box). Put him in the self-publicist performance art bracket and I say 'well, good luck mate' but "magic"? Naaaah...

I watched a bit of tv last night (first time for a while). It was interesting to see the latest evolution of 'dancing instead of fighting' from The States. Clowning and Krumpin'. I gotta say it isn't as exciting or as magical as BreakDancing was when it first hit, as that was such an exciting mixture of the stuff I was into myself (acrobatic tumbling, mime, stage fighting, slapstick, etc). This was more frenzied, more angry. But, OK, that's probably the way that it is - it's an expression of just how bad it can get down there amongst the oppressed. Fascinating stuff though.

Then there was yet another episode of Channel 5's Psychic Secrets Revealed (which the Guardian, tellingly, described as revealing 'the disappointing trickery behind more allegedly psychic feats'. Alistair Cook (one of the Monkey Magic crew) does convincing demos, and then exposes the method. Of course, most people are true believers...they wanna believe, or, as one of the Barnum statements they used in the Tarot reading said "you are sceptical about psychic matters, but like to keep an open mind". The bunch of people who had readings were all told exactly the same script, and afterwards they each assessed the accuracy of the 'reading' as between 80% and 99% accurate. Sad, huh?

It's also amusing to me to see how 'sad old git stuff' like clowning in fright wigs and makeup (Tommy the Clown and his social work in the Hood), or conjuring, are 'cool' again - when they have been so essentially naff for so many years. What goes round comes round.

Anyway - for those not in the UK, this is the Friday night schedule for the winter. A new series of Ab Fab, and although it is a little tired, I still love the female cast and the self mockery and savagery (and, of course, I have a thing for Joanna Lumley).

And then (treats) we got a new series of Have I Got News for You - with more rudeness and intelligence. Not a bad evening.

Don't you love Doonesbury huh? don't ya?

This was an archive link to his take on Blogs, last October 21 and following days...it's worth clicking through the calendar days, if only to find out the real identity of Jenny McTagarty Girl Pirate "the blogger's blogger" - and where she is writing from...................

It's a great archive to explore (maybe in your lunch hour......)

Oh, and talking of money (as I was before - or BELOW, in this context) don't forget to put Buy Nothing Day in your diary for November 28th.

Of course, I know I can't really change any people, not even close friends, who have accepted the whole idea of getting through lives they don't really enjoy by giving themselves 'treats' the whole time...

But I have a soft spot for alternatives which may (still) carry us into the future.

The Sixties was only a seedbed, just a mere glimpse - and a lot of forces have worked on trashing the dreams that started back there - they have worked on making them unfashionable, or silly, they have done character assassination on individuals and groups - but they can't keep the dream away.

As Bucky Fuller pointed out, you can't rush the acceptance of new ideas, but you can't stop them when their time has come, either. So at least go and have a look at some of the ideas on the Adbusters site - LETS schemes, alternative economies for local communities, etc.

Enjoy! And don't take offence, don't take it too personally - we are all walking wounded under State Capitalism...

In my endless quest to try things out, I have now finally gone into the market place again. Although I love markets (started out street performing in Mexico in the markets and town squares) I have never been much good at buuying and selling THINGS.

I just don't understand 'value' and 'worth' and haggling and all that stuff.

"WAS £99, now only £50" surely means "We originally asked a silly price, but now we are getting realistic, if we want to get rid of the thing".

"Worth £100 but we are selling it for £50" is surely meaningless, as it can only be worth what someone is willing to pay for it at the time. There is no permanent 'value' on anything - that's the same illusion that money is real wealth, when it appears to me to be simply a measurement of wealth - and I would never try to hoard inches or degrees Centrigrade.

You can see why me and Capitalism never got on, and why I have never had more than the cash in my pocket....If you charge interest you'll get inflation, surely it's obvious (sigh).

Anyway, back then I could only offer services (amusement or hard work) in the market place, but not things. I tended to trade those or give them away, rather than have to carry them around.

So it's a big adventure for me to take my last film memento and stick it on eBay. Everything else got given, loaned, traded, or abandoned, lost or destroyed along the way. It's just that I wanted to try eBay (having read the book) and was stumped for something odd enough to offer up.

So - tonight I put up my original Labyrinth script, just to see how this stuff works. I'll be quite happy if I don't sell it, but I didn't put a high hold price on it. If it doesn't get bid up to the price of a trip to Barcelona then I hope someone who loves it gets it.

Whatever.

I still have a pile of call sheets and shooting schedules, photos from the set and other stuff to wade through for the memories....all fascinating stuff. To me.

I just came across some photos I took of Pete with his fire whip (I kid you not).

It may be that this year's little adventure is over now. I don't have any other conventions lined up, and I certainly don't go out looking.

It was fun to come across these photos of us all hanging around in Charleroi with Mark Dermul - who came to save us from a fête worse than death (OK, OK, just a rather quiet morning).

It's only a joke, Aurélien, honestly! I am not sure that puns translate very well.....

And if you want to really freak yourself out, try this

But don't blame me if you don't know what to do after......

Microsofties can try Alt+F4

or Ctrl+Alt+Del and kill the sesssion....

Don't say you weren't warned.... Just don't push the button!

You'll need Flash and Stereo to enjoy this one

Honestly, a lot of people like this joke

Or this more library orientated one

I can't remember if I showed you the end of Internet before....

Having my day off today (I'll work Saturday, instead). I am not fully recovered from that cold. I enjoyed watching Lovejoy on morning tv (I have a soft spot for the lovable rogue) but I am appalled at all the daytime tv offers of money.

I seriously do think we need to reword these ads. I mean:

"Worried about your financial situation? Let us sort it out" means "Why not borrow MORE, and get DEEPER in debt!" Of course the monthly payouts will be less, because they will go on for a lot more months (or years). I can't believe I am the only one who hears stuff this way.

I am not completely shocked, of course. Growing up in the 50s I heard people talk about Christianity as though they really believed that stuff (not just as though they were too scared to criticize their own culture, or disagree with their parents). I just couldn't believe that people could 'compartmentalize' like that. I am not talking about just ignorant people - but college professors, and such. You can't be the Prime Minister or the President of the USA without spouting this guff (oh, sorry, without claiming to believe the embedded religion of the culture).

I also understood how people can turn a deaf ear to their internal common sense, because I was a vegetarian when that was an extremely odd thing to be - and got used to hearing all the imaginary defences that people invented for persisting in cultural patterns. At least (now) meat-eaters sound sheepish (sorry!) when they discuss the issue - they tend to sound like smokers - they either say 'I know I ought to give it up' or they defiantly say ' I don't care about my health, I LIKE it'.

Personally I don't care. I was never a 'moral' vegetarian judging others - I am a veggie the way rabbits are - I never even thought about it - I never resisted temptation, or gave anything up - I just am that way by nature.

Similarly - when I stopped believing in Tooth Fairies and Santa Claus I assumed that everyone else would also 'grow up' and put Jesus where he belongs in the fairy tales of our childhood - so I find it strange that grown-ups hang onto their 'teddy bear/security blanket' like that.

And so back to money. 1% of the population of the planet owns most of it. The rest is usury. If money is lent at interest, then inflation is inevitable. If you can borrow against all future earnings you don't have to be paid properly. You can sell all your future earnings for a roof over your head, and return to slavery voluntarlly.

It's amazing. People still fall for that old Three Card Trick. Well, I am skint, and I never have any property to speak of, but I don't owe my future to anyone, and I am still in a position to make a sudden change if the impulse strikes me (I am no more insecure now than I ever was).

Incoherent jottings, I know, but it's not the Third World who is failing to pay their debt, its the USA and the UK - two wealthy countries living well beyond their means almost entirely on borrowed money and assets. We ought to be ashamed - especially as we are not just surviving, but becoming obese with over-consumption, and restless for more and more and more - holidays, treats, presents, toys - more, and more and more.

OK, I'll shut up now. I'd better clean my 8' x 10' room....

I keep forgetting how bad my layout is, and how many things get lost. One day I'll really think about being an Information Architect, and redesign this site. It just grew, you see.

I had completely forgotten this page of links, compiled one wet Sunday - great stuff for magicians and jugglers.

I really enjoyed my Maybe Logic DVD of Robert Anton Wilson's life. I recommend this DVD (I got an early release, but the standard edition is now available) and there is an interview with the film maker here, if you have no idea what I am talking about.

I don't get to The States much, so I am not likely to be able to go to a screening, or help out, but these are the current dates, from their newsletter:

"Nov. 1-3 Clinton Street Theater - Portland, OR
Nov. 15 Van East Cinema - Vancouver, B.C.
- after-party will follow the Vancouver show
Nov. 17-18 Van Duzer Theatre at HSU - Arcata, CA
- Q&A w/ filmmakers on the 18th on HSU campus

From the newsletter:

"We need some assistance spreading fliers
around the above towns as well as any other
pirate or legitimate promo contributions. So,
if you would like to help, or have a media
connection or two, please contact us [contact@maybelogic.com]
and we'll get you the promo materials and a
couple tickets to the show. If you live near
these cities, tell every critter you know!"

The circus's one night show was absolutely great!

It was a tribute for ten years of Splott State Community Circus, and there was a mixture of performers - amateur and professional. There were also some of the crew from more recent incarnations of NoFit State. I enjoyed it all (it's always a good sign when I stop taking notes and pretending to be a 'circus critic') - and then went to a very late night party.

I am so hungover today that I can't tell that I have got a cold. I am not sure if that is a good thing or not - that's like hitting your thumb with a hammer to stop you noticing the toothache (or something).

I am enjoying mingling with the magic gang again. I am getting to do research for people (given that my own knowledge is scattered and unsystematic, but wider than many people's) and that inevitably involves spending money, too....hey ho.

I really like the mental exercise of 'thinking like a conjuror', and if I actually put some practice in I might still have a way of making a living when I am forcibly retired without a pension....stranger things have happened (to me).

Well, I gave up, and didn't go to work. Two days. I feel terrible.

However - I noticed a fair few visitors today (See the Stats at the bottom of the Home Page) - so that's good news.

Hi everyone!

And I may have heard word of a few more Star Wars call sheets to add to the few I have. Only as photocopies, of course, but the information really helps pull together the memories of those faraway days....more on this later maybe.

I am now seriously considering putting my 'Labyrinth' material up on eBay. I've given away or lost all my other film souvenirs, without ever checking whether they really are as valuable to collectors out there as the rumours have it.

I guess this is my last chance to try and find out (and if it's not great, well, someone who wants it will get it. If the bidding goes up and up, well I can kick myself about all those bits and pieces (crew shirts, belt buckles, small props, name tags, call sheets, scripts, etc) which I have spread around so casually.

It was the travelling life, you see. If you don't have a basement or a loft, and you have to carry everything (not even pile it into a car) when you move - you tend to give stuff away. It's lighter that way.

Hey ho.

Oh no! Julie has been quite ill the last few days with a 'bug' (flu or whatever) which I didn't get, but now I seem to have all the first round of symptoms, so if I go downhill rapidly I may have to take a day or two off work, and I'll probably neglect my blog/email/website.

Nothing personal - I am just a bad invalid - but once I do give up I let go completely.

I grew up with 'the show must go on' (the old theatre rule) and moved into the circus (if you're not dead you can do your act) so I do tend to battle on, but that does have to be balanced by how sensible it is to go into work and infect everyone else....

How popular would a children's entertainer be if they pop in to do a school show and leave their snuffle behind? Of course, the library is a perfect breeding ground - it's a sick building anyway, and is a refuge for a lot of people - including the old the sick and the lame and loads of kids, too....so if the city has got something, we get exposed to it.

I'll get off now - it's not a pretty sight, watching a grown man feel sorry for himself.

Dull reading for others, I guess. Sorry about that, but I do notes to myself, and that's at least part of what this blog is for.

I was amused to visit the Blue Harvest site again. Back in 99 I wandered on to the Net for the first time...no idea how browsers worked, etc. Now I work on computers, and have done other online interviews, gone to conventions organised by email, and all in 3-4 years.

Here's my first ever posting to a guest book:

Fri Feb 5 22:31:37 1999 Toby Philpott (Host: miranda-51.cableol.net)

I just stumbled into cyberspace this week, and like most people I began by looking for friends and myself... Back in 1982 I operated the left hand, head body and tongue of Jabba in 'Return' (then known as Blue Harvest, or occasionally 'Revenge of The Jedi' (as I am sure you all know better than me...) Many years have passed since that six week's work, and I get no repeat fees, just reflected glory. Hello to you all anyway, and especially to anyone else who worked on that particular set. Be Seeing You.

PS: the contrary view

In case anyone thinks I am preaching Omega at you - don't forget all the previous discussion which reckoned that unsaturated vegetable oils were bad for you.

Go read Raymond Peat, for instance.

We are extremely complex creatures, it is an extremely complex environment, and everything is changing all the time.

All generalizations are dangerous (even this one)

I do wish people would start treating us as intelligent, and not do all public health information in Black and White forms of Good and Bad for you.

Giving things up, Having to include this.

What we need these days is a little more of the 'fuzzy logic' approach...let's talk about both Use and Abuse of substances. Get into the grey areas.

Whatever happened to moderation, and 'A little of what you fancy does you good'?

Everyone knows you can OD on anything from chocolate to water, from alcohol to computers, from jogging to sleeping - so give us a break guys - leave out the moral lecture!

Further research needed: referring to the item below (time goes backwards in here) I should point out that Omega 3 is also linked by some research to being good for Depression, hyperactivity, allergies, heart disease, Crohn's disease, rheumatoid arthritis and cancer, etc.

Check it out.

The (allegedly ideal) Mediterranean diet for omnivores includes plenty of fish, and relatively little meat. There is certainly some kind of link with regular fish eating and getting enough of these important fatty acids.

Personally, I prefer being a guinea pig for the plant-based forms. I am fairly erratic in my consumption of them, but I try to keep it up when I can.

On the national tv test for 'intelligence' (whatever that is) I scored higher than the people in the studio, and one point higher than the best on-line participant. I am not bragging, just saying what happened. So I don't think I am seriously lacking in these particular nutrients (although good genes help with some of this stuff - and the ability to synthesise some of the things you need).

I didn't watch the programme in the mayhem of realtime, but video'd it. I still did the test fairly, though - no rewinding, or pausing. I don't care what it means, I just enjoyed the mental exercise. I don't want to join MENSA (even if I could pass their more rigorous tests. But I think I have a grasp on what intelligence might mean (and it's not all blessings, being the one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind). And I agree with Julie when she points out the cultural bias in IQ tests - especially when I was a child and the 11+ test in the UK was loaded towards boys.

Still, this was a generic test, with a large sample base.

Anyway...

When I think about intelligence I know what I mean, but it's hard to define. I feel like St Augustine "I know what time is until you ask me to define it." [paraphrase, preceding research and correction].

Still, I empathise with the idea that the planet is smart (Gaia), and that the universe is smart (not The Great Designer - noun - but smarts in action - evolution and other emergent phenomena - verbs).

And I know I could still work on my 'emotional intelligence'. There's always more work to be done in the world of Lifelong Learning.

Stupid, however, we can easily do without.

And for those who don't know me, I have always thought there was one enemy - Stupidity [see Stupid White Men - Michael Moore] and only one 'god' - Intelligence.

My current rage is triggered by being told about Omega 3 and Omega 6 oils, and their beneficial effect on dyslexia. I have been aware of these oils for a while (it was a fad of the 80s) because being a lifelong vegetarian I have always been aware of possible gaps in my nutrition. I do the research. I didn't want to take Cod Liver Oil, though, even though people said it was essential. If you're a veggie that product couldn't really have a worse name! And I didn't even care if George Bernard Shaw (a veggie convert) took it as a supplement. I would rather die...(I used to say). I also used to point out Gorillas and Elephants if people thought veggies wouldn't grow up big and strong!

Anyway - the anger is not about our resistance to knowledge - a certain caution is wise when faced with fads (even doctors' fads) - no, it's the recurring one about hemp. How a futile attempt to stop people smoking marijuana caused the whole hemp industry to disappear - and more scary than that, to be written out of the history books. Check out books on wild plants in the UK. Most of them don't even list it, or just (maybe) mention it in the preface, and that cultivating it is illegal - it's a natural weed, for goodness sake - it doesn't need cultivating. It was the 'canvas' (cannabis) on the British Empire's sailing ships, as well as all the (hemp) ropes. It was food, fuel, clothing, etc.

Try The Emperor Wears No Clothes if you want all the facts. The short version, however, is that hemp is one of the few plants that has complete and balanced Omega 3 and 6 oils in it. It predates wheat as a food source for humans and animals. And you can buy hemp oil in Sainsbury's these days, so it's not exactly an obscure product. Flax is good, too.

Anyway, now that we are coming out of the era where hemp was air-brushed out of history (and Jack Herer puts a convincing case for opportunism on the behalf of the cotton industry (USA) and the pharmaceutical firm DuPont (USA) - who make fertilizers and pesticides and tranquilizers and nylon. Those corporations jumped in when a hick town sheriff with his 'Alcohol Prohibition department' in place didn't know what to do to avoid unemployment after they legalised alcohol again, and simply redirected his department's attention to the (then legal) pastime of the blacks and mexicans (and quite a lot of people in Hollywood and the jazz and blues sub-cultures).

Harry J Anslinger banned 'marryjewanna' one day, and all the American hemp farmers woke up the next day to find their hemp crops (for oil, livestock food, rope, canvas, etc) were suddenly illegal because Harry was too dumb to realise that the Mexican 'marijuana' he stuck in the law book was the same plant, hemp, under its Spanish name (duh!)

Instead of backing down, the USA then bullied most other countries into banning dope, and never talking about it again. It was removed from history just like those unfortunates that Stalin painted out of the photos and history books. They couldn't even acknowledge that they had ever used hemp for anything - there was/is a serious attempt to make this plant extinct!

It really would be funny if it wasn't so sad and scary. I'll award Harry J Anslinger my Stupid White Man of the day award today. [Is this the start of another regular event?]

With the system down this morning I have had a bit of frenzy. Now (as I sit and wait for the fix) I have decided to come in here.

I found a cool blog today, it was at this site - Elegant Hack Enjoy the great design....

Alf came around to show me some magic stuff, and we traded a few ideas. I went to juggling, and found myself trying to remember moves with Linking Rings with Gordon. After manhandling a trampette to someone's house, I went to have a drink with the circus crew - which turned into quite a late one, including 'all back to my place' and a bottle of Irish Whiskey I brought back from Belgium. I left a couple of people still asleep on the floor as I bimbled out to work this morning.

Does anyone read this stuff? Does anyone really care? I am all too aware that there is a certain vanity in an online diary, but I guess it does allow people to drop in to see how I am doing, without me having to remember to 'stay in touch' all the time. Hi Julia!

Oh. 'bimbling' is a word I first heard used at Glastonbury, it's a kind of semi-unpurposeful wandering about. And that explanation isn't going to help. Sorry.

I couldn't take Monday off work to recover, as I need my day off for next Saturday, to go to a backgammon tournament in Somerset.

I was really hanging by the end of the day, and shortly after getting home and having a glass of wine I fell asleep, and slept most of the night...

A bit stiff today, but at least I am rested. I guess I still throw myself into this stuff.

Talking to a hundred strangers (in French!) is quite a a strain on the brain, and keeping one's spirits up during long boring periods, when no-one wants to talk to you, uses energy as well. Generally I pour energy into the show biz thing - when I used to do my 40 minute solo show it felt afterwards as though I had done the 100 metres in 10 seconds, or a five minute mile (or is that sex, I forget...)

Anyway - I had to get into a high energy state. And it was the same for the 15 minute street show - I used to psyche myself right up so as to be able to grab people's attention and hold it amidst all the distractions of a public space.

Anyway - I will slowly recover, no doubt, even at my age.

I don't have any further plans for conventions, so the bubble may have burst, but I have enjoyed them all so far.

Wow, I am tired today. I had a great time in Belgium. The trade fair was an interesting space (who knew people collected Smurfs? and who knew Smurfs were called Schtroumpfs in France? Or is that their name in Germany - ah no, that's Schlumpfe). even if Charleroi seems to have some of the dirtiest air I have ever smelled.

It was great to see Ailsa and Yvonne again, and good to talk to Gerald Home, who I was obviously working alongside more than once back then in the glory days, but we none of us have been in touch since.

Aurelien and I had a very funny time - and our nonsense eventually began to affect Gerald, too. I am not sure that Michael Sheard and Bear were quite so amused by our antics. hey ho.

My shy side couldn't possibly do a gig like that (talking to strangers, talking in French, etc) so my clown tends to take over the reins...and he isn't dangerous but he is a little bit loud and carefree...and when you give him a couple of hospitality beers it gets even worse (I didn't used to let him drink, back then when I was a professional juggler and acrobatic clown!)

I am just packing to go to Belgium. Getting nervous (as ever) because it is still show biz, and that's what show biz runs on - nerves.

Of course, being a street urchin, I am more nervous about being looked up and down by the posh hotel we are staying at. They always know that I don't belong in that world. It's not just my unironed clothes, my homemade haircut or the tendency to treat staff as equals, but the aura of 'street' that comes off me.

W.C.Fields said the same, long after he was a star of Broadway and Hollywood - he said people's dogs still snarled at him, because they could smell the poverty and desperation of his earlier years.....

I immediately think I should go put clean trousers on...just at the thought...rather than my comfortable 'travel' ones that I have been wearing for two days already!

Sad, isn't it? I guess so. But I will never get to feel like a star. I don't even feel like part of the middle classes. I certainly never felt like the white male oppressor! I mostly feel like I am playing at being a grown-up, and always expect to get caught out.

Look at me! In my Twenties hitching and bumming about; in my Thirties wandering about with a suitcase full of juggling and magic, doing street shows; a brief spell in the movies (which is what this is all about); into my Forties on the dole, running away to join the circus and finally, in my Fifties, a 'steady job' in a humble profession (libraries) which has led to being a computer person (improbably at my age).

But I am still sure they are going to catch me out....and spot the kid dressing up and putting on a show....

Be Seeing You!

I somehow managed to miss out on writing up my visit to Recklinghausen to the Dark Side Convention.

Too busy.

Too fatigued.

Too many impressions.

So I'll just say I had a wonderful time - met some great people - laughed a lot - and just enjoyed a great adventure....I'll try to get around to it eventually, but meanwhile...

Thanks to Britta and Volker for the hospitality (and to Volker's mother for the vodka drink! - It is still maturing on the shelf....I don't know if it will last until Christmas...) and to Volker's father for the lifts. Thanks to Dave for the games and learning how to count up to six in German. Big thanks to Nicole for patiently and fluently translating for both me and John Coppinger (nice to see our John) and for the great singing with Volker.

And thanks to everyone else who made it such a fun weekend..... Danke!

Enjoy yourselves at Echo Base, I'll be down the road at Charleroi.

What a week! I won't bore you with what is now my everyday work - suffice to say the network was down, and it wasn't my fault, and I had no control over it, but everyone comes to me to find out what is occurring................

I spent my day off messing with pictures, just for the heaven of it (?)

Then I listened to a bit of George Carlin. But please don't follow my link if you are easily shocked. You can't say you weren't warned. Just think Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks, and if you like that sort of stuff - go visit. And don't go to those other links, either, if you are not sure...............

Well, we had beautiful weather on Tuesday, and Judith and Abi came over the water from Somerset on a calm clear day. Julie picked us up from the front at Penarth, and we all went to St Fagan's - a rather delightful 'theme park' of Welsh Life, which contains buildings from all periods of Welsh history, moved from their original locations stone by stone, and rebuilt in amongst tall trees. There are mills, and churches, and farm houses; a reconstructed Celtic village and late 19th Century shops. We finished the day with an excellent Italian meal on the front at Penarth (I highly recommend that place if you ever find yourself there - it's the second time we have eaten there, and both times was superb).

Otis B. Driftwood: It's all right, tha-that's in every contract. Tha-that's what they call a sanity clause.
Fiorello: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... you can't fool me. There ain't no sanity clause.

A Night at the Opera 1935

I have been back a few days now. I have finally got a good night's sleep. The last few weeks has been a blur: started with a camping holiday in West Wales, which was lovely in spite of the strange mist (low cloud) which occasionally enveloped the camp site, and the reminder that a man of 57 doesn't sleep on the ground as comfortably as the man of 52 did (back there in the circus touring days - as I was the one without a caravan - you can't have a carvan if you won't drive - so I used to sleep in the Big Top).

This was followed almost immediately by a holiday trip to Frankfurt (which was fun, but involved quite a few late nights, and drinking) - then a return to the UK to squeeze in a couple of days work (my boss was right, I should have used them as 'days of rest') and then back to Germany for the Dark Side Convention which was small, very friendly and involved (you've guessed it) long days, and then nights of drinking and talking). Is there a pattern here?

I then came back via Stanstead Airport, so that was a 9 hour journey (if you included the clock change) only to go to bed late and exhausted to get up and go to work all this week. I really must learn to build in some days off - using Days Off to extend 'holiday time' doesn't really work, especially when holidays are more strenuous than working.

Anyway, if a certain rueful tone is sneaking in here, it is because I have just finished reading Tony Hawk's "Round Ireland with a Fridge" a book recommended to me by someone in Germany - possibly relating it to how bizarre my life must sound - living serially as a juggler, film puppeteer, circus teacher, road crew and now computer network operator. And before you ask, no I didn't plan it, and yes it all surprised me too.

But now I have had my two hours of 'day off' in the sun with a book, and have to get on with the 'real world' - ie tidying up, house-cleaning, sorting out the plumbing and other delights of home-owning (not me personally, but I get involved. The joys of renting was always that landlords had to worry about this stuff. Although, if they didn't worry enough it was, I suppose, me who put up with it until they got round to fixing it. I used to put up with it by sitting out in the sun..........)

The library was attacked by a virus on September 11th (no, nobody came up with that theory), so public Internet access was down; and DVDs are being stolen systematically, so we are having trouble trying to check what should be there, and what isn't, etc. It's all pretty tiring.

I always knew show business was a soft option - even when standing in the wings in terror of 'dying' in public, or hanging around for weeks with no money waiting for the phone to ring.

Still, my friend Judith has found out about a boat that will bring her from Somerset to Cardiff next week. It's a one-day wonder, I am afraid, as car culture killed the ferry business years ago - so now everyone has to drive all the way around over the Severn Bridge - instead of crossing the channel in a straight line. On a clear day we can see each other on the beach (well, almost)...

And I have another crazy adventure to go on at the end of the month - off to Belgium. No doubt there is still some fun to be had before the winter sets in, and we all have to do our christmas shopping. I am sorry if that is the first time you heard it mentioned - I have already seen the word and the pictures, and it's still only September - and anyone who knows me knows that I hate that season with a will - which always causes grief with the people who still believe in Tooth Fairies and Santa Claus, when we Marx Brothers fans can't be fooled, we know "there ain't no sanity clause!"Shall I sit in the sun, or try to fix the plumbing leak? You can guess what I'd like to, and you know what I ought to, be doing.

No doubt duty will win out over self-indulgence. I have had enough fun......

Hey Ho.

At DSC Ken Colley was very interesting on the subject of big cats, especially with his tigers' tales.

When I got home I stepped on the tail of a tiger, got into a fight and lost, so I am still feeling a bit rough.

Still, Belgium is coming up, and another little adventure out into the big wide world to meet people who want to meet me - so it's not all bad - to quote the song "I can't complain but sometimes I still do "

I have a mansion
Forget the price
Ain't never been there
They tell me it's nice
I live in hotels
Tear out the walls
I have accountants
Pay for it all
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far

My Maserati
Does one eighty-five
I lost my license
Now I don't drive

I have a limo
Ride in the back
I lock the doors
In case I'm attacked

I'm making records
My fans they can't wait
They write me letters
Tell me I'm great

So I got me an office
Gold records on the wall
just leave a message
Maybe I'll call

Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
Everybody says I'm cool (He's cool)
I can't complain but sometimes I still do
Life's been good to me so far

I go to parties
Sometimes until four
It's hard to leave
When you can't find the door

It's tough to handle
This fortune and fame
Everybody's so different
I haven't changed

They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
Everybody says Oh yeah (Oh yeah)
I keep on going guess I'll never know why
Life's been good to me so far

"Life's Been Good"
written by Joe Walsh

Hooray for the Optimists! I finally managed to watch my DVD of Robert Anton Wilson (Maybe Logic) - I received my advanced copy a few weeks ago, and I have been putting it off, while dealing with 'the real world'...

As well as Bob, I may be one of the few survivors of the The Sixties who are 'just as angry and just as optimistic' and if you think he's my guru - well, screw you too, he's just one of the people who has kept the faith (fnord) that we can do the Golden Age in the future not in the past - that we can all be going there, not missing out on it, and yes, I've just drunk a bottle of red wine because it eased the pain of my current reality, which I am about to go and work on (I'd much prefer Alice B Toklas cookies, but they're illegal and hard to come by)

Over but not yet Down and Out! Bye, good luck and may your god go with you.

Hi Harvey! Don't take it so personal...................

Hi Keili

I miss you loads, and I have put a separate post up in 'Spooking The Herd'.

It was fun at the Dark Side Con in Recklinghausen. I stayed with some really wonderful people (rather than in a hotel) and got to hang out with an old friend (for a beer or three) as well.

It was quite a small event, and turnout was probably disappointing, but it was still more fun than just going to a trading fair. People were in a variety of fantasy costumes (not only Star Wars), and I got to judge a costume competition (once I had worked out the scoring system. I also heard Volker and Nicole singing a wonderful duet (I heard a rehearsal in the small hours first, then saw/heard it on stage). The hypnotist show brought down the roof with stomping and cheering and whooping from the very enthusiastic crowd.

A specially commissioned Darth Vader costume was given to Dave Prowse, who put it on for photos (it was the first time he had been in the costume for over 20 years.) This was a rare moment to witness - even if he was off (immediately afterwards) on his neverending tour of the world selling autographs. I signed a few pictures and posters and such, but Jabba isn't such a pull, really, so I am hardly going to give up the day job. Still, I got a free trip to Germany, and you can't argue with that.

I am back from a small but very enjoyable convention in Recklinghausen this weekend. I will post more about this later. My web counter says I have been visited by people using these languages...averaging 4 per day....

English 102
Danish 14
French 13
German 6
Unknown 3
Spanish 2
Dutch 2
Malay 1
Hungarian 1
Chinese 1

I got to Stansted airport a little early, so I am trying one of these internet booths. I like the big silver rolling ball, but I hate the indestructible keyboard.

Reading 'Breaking the Head', a shamanistic adventure story which I am enjoying.

I had a couple of days back at work, but now I am off to another festival/carnival.

More soon - perhaps on a more fluent keyboard!

I am getting very tired of listening to the news. Recently it seems that people dying is mostly what it is about. Wars, of course; dramatic accidents; murders; suicides (including those who take other people with them); illness, etc.

It is uncanny. Is that all we are interested in - ways to die?

Why don't we go the whole way - not just picking out plane crashes, but listing the ten people a day who regularly die on the roads in the UK (figures are even higher in France, I believe).

Let's list them all, and the mundane way they were suddenly interrupted. Let's count all the 'uninteresting' people who die of hunger, thirst, poverty and neglect - not just those heroic soliders, or those being horribly tortured. Let's list them all, and be done with it - just like the weather forecast. At that level we would realise how steady the figures are (something insurance firms know - the law of large numbers which level out statistically). Get a perspective.

152,078 people die every day, according to this site of World Vital Events - and, for what it's worth, they reckon 352,764 new people are born every day....aren't they news? That's 245 per minute, with only 106 dying, so the population is growing by 139 per minute, and has been for a long time.

If you prefer something a bit more vivid, look at the counter on this UN site.

So don't tell me about a suicidal politician or terrorist, or a multiple car pile up, or any freak accident that makes us think death is just 'bad luck'. Why not tell us about some positive stuff - intelligence at work; lucky breaks; positive outcomes....

As Julie has decided to go the Mac route I am going to have to work on networking the household with PCs and Macs combined.

Oh what fun.

I will continue to report on this, when it all kicks in, and any help will be gratefully accepted - since I weighed it all up years ago, and decided that (for all Microsoft's faults) I was going to go down the route of (effectively) speaking English (the world language)...rather than isolate myself in a side group. I wanted transferrable skills to get me through my old age...

If I was a real geek I would be learning to use Linux, but instead I am trying to learn enough German to not feel completely stupid next week. Hmmm.

And if you don't understand this, don't worry, I am a bit confused myself, and (like I said) this is an online diary, not a publication, so it is mostly notes to myself.

I just do it in public, as I originally put my life on the line by determining to be a street performer, and threw myself on the mercy of my fellow human beings to find a way through this life without a boss.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIA!

Back in Cardiff and catching up. I have no idea why my writings page is climbing the Google heap. It's a bit embarrassing, as there are projects listed there which haven't been typed up for months (years?) It's a neglected backwater page.

I'll try to get it sorted out soon.

One day I'll take the whole thing down and start from scratch (in its current incarnation it just grew from a cv (resume) published using a Front Page template).

I'm in Frankfurt

learning the secrets of Houdini from a friend. Struggling with a Mac Computer and a German keyboard, so I won't write long.

New postings, and catching up on email later in the weekend.

Very strange.

I just woke up from a dream. What was odd about it was that in the dream I met someone (call him A) and did something (irrelevant here) which gave me a sense of déjà vu, and then when I thought about it I realised that I hadn't really lived through the event before, but had dreamed it. I mentioned this to another of the characters in the first dream (if you follow me) who wasn't surprised - "Oh yeh, A's in the habit of visiting people in their dreams".

Then I woke up, fairly confused, given that A really has just visited me in a dream...

Want one interesting site to explore, for the Bank Holiday (UK)?


Try Anxiety Culture

You may or may not believe that we never went to the moon - you may think we have a colony there (Alternative Three) but try this factoid about the Space Shuttle on for size:

Every time the shuttle goes up the solid fuel rocket boosters spew millions of pounds of aluminum dust into the high atmosphere and ionosphere. Some of this aluminum never comes down.
With 113 flights so far, that means there are millions of pounds of aluminum dust floating around up there blocking radio transmissions, sunlight etc.
This continuing atmospheric pollution is brought to you thanks to the primeval "explosion" technologists at JPL, NASA, and Morton Thiokol.

"Joe Six-Pack" goes along for each joyride, he throws
64,000,000 empty beer cans out the window on the way.
(32 aluminum cans per pound)
With 113 flights so far, that means there is the equivalent of
BILLIONS OF EMPTY CANS FLOATING AROUND UP THERE.
That's BILLIONS.

I am enjoying the stats from the counter: I have no idea how accurate this is - whether repeat visits count as one person or several, etc - but currently I have been visited (it says) by people using these languages
English 68
Danish 5
French 5
German 3
Dutch 2
Spanish 1
Unknown 1
Chinese 1

Which frame would make this look right? Oblique Strategy


Oh, and Lubor's Lens is something else, but I'll let you Google that yourselves....

Just a couple of notes: Thanks Brandon!

Thanks, also, to the people at Deep Leaf Productions, who just sent me my limited edition copy of *Maybe Logic - the Lives and Ideas of Robert Anton Wilson* the DVD (with bonus material).

I am trying to savour it, and not gulp it down. All it took to slow me down was to look at the practical exercises, when Bob said 'put it on pause and go collect some random household objects........................Are you back?'

At that moment I did pause... 'tooo laate man....'

Humanize something free of error

- that's what Oblique Strategies recommended to me today....

Oblique Strategies are 'over a hundred worthwhile dilemmas' by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt - that can be found in the form of a pack of cards. But here's a great online version to play with for now.

More weird stuff. I came home to an email saying someone had just signed my guest book!

I went - Which Guest Book?

Ah, that Bravenet one I put up and took down a year ago....so how did someone come across it? In a cache? Or are they just sneaking around Bravenet members area, and going into guest books and sites from that site?

Hard to tell.....

Here's a crappy bit of advertising crud. I wondered why contact lens people and cookie makers were popping up in Google, when you hunt for Jabba stuff.

It looks as though best-shops-online sell space to these companies, and offer to hype them up the charts, then just hide some irrelevant (but popular) keywords on their pages and Voila! instant placings in search categories. Worse than out-of-the-blue junk mail must be junk that turns up when you are doing a specific search (not because you have asked a vague question.....)

I don't specially want to advertise these people, but this is what you get:

Discovered! convenient biocompatibles contacts Discount Contact ...
... MILLERStardestroyer Captain No 2 TOM MANNIONJabba Puppeteers TOBY PHILPOTT MIKE EDMONDS
DAVID BARCLAYPuppeteers MICHAEL And with our huge buying power, we are ...
contact-lenses.best-shops-online.com/ convenient_biocompatibles_contacts.asp - Similar pages

Excellent for oatmeal raisin gift fresh baked cookies - Delicious ...
... oliverstardestroyer captain no 1 pip millerstardestroyer captain no 2 tom mannionjabba
puppeteers toby philpott mike Chef David, trained in the finest French ...
cookies.best-shops-online.com/ oatmeal_raisin_gift_Fresh_Baked_cookies.asp - Similar pages
Cheeky, huh?

I managed to buy a secondhand copy of the Jamais Vu Papers....and was enjoying it's tale of people writing their own life as stories or knowing they're characters in a book ( a plot my friend Mick used to like) - with all that weirdness of knowing what is going to happen (deja vu), reversed, to jamais vu. I have never been here before.

It was first of all strange to hear the Cardiff Giant mentioned (though it has nothing to do with this city I live in) and a whole piece was written in Pig Latin (which I find really irritating - Iway eallyray indfay isthay itequay annoyingway). Fairly strange things to come across - but far more bizarrely synchronous when I put on a DVD of 'Made' that evening - only to find Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau speaking in Pig Latin, and ending up working for a company called Cardiff Giant (which they have to claim to work for several times).

That's got to be an improbable hit!

There still seems to be a regular flow of visitors wandering through - Hi People!

I guess T'Bone's interview increased traffic a bit (but also Habidabad's interview from before).

This still feels like an ephemeral event to me. A couple of years ago my working as an online tutor gave me freelance earnings on top of my wage, and let me go visit Hawaii (after not leaving the UK for about 15 years!)

I liked the thought of working from home, and working with my enthusiasm, but I also guessed it wouldn't last. Like most of my freelance plans over the years.

So getting to visit a couple of Star Wars conventions is fun, (and I know it could be a big old world of promotions, if you get into it), but the most I honestly expect is a couple of trips to other European countries (where someone else pays the plane fare) , and meeting some good folks.

I never was good at sustainable plans (as you can see from my history) as I have always been restless, into early adoption, easily bored, always moving on.....

This steady job isn't bad (as a plan for being in your mid-50s) but I still don't know if it will really see me through all the ups and downs of the next few years (i should be so lucky...)

I so enjoyed my entry of the 27th July, that I am going to repeat it here - just to remind myself to put that link onto a permanent page (and because the link is changing)

"After finding Grand Illusions I was racking my brains for the address of another site I found a while ago, containing 'impossible objects' made from playing cards. Well, this morning I found my way back!

They are called WOW cards, and they are at Ian Rowland's website. He performs all over the world doing a 'Beyond the Psychic' show. Not like Uri Geller, he has a self-deprecating sense of humour and self-mockery (while obviously still proud of the great stuff he can do).

It was always Geller's vanity that annoyed me (I remain an honorary member of the circle of conjurers who like fooling people, but not kidding them it is anything 'paranormal'. And speaking of paranormal, have a look at the impossible objects on Ian's site, which he calls PPOs (Permanent Paranormal Objects) which make a ship in a bottle look like child's play. (Though sadly the links to Angus Lavery, and the spoon that changes shape were dead links when I visited today)."

It's been a funny week for news. I don't mean the death and destruction stories to keep the climate of fear going...

Nah, the trivia. Last week it was 'Sun screen causes cancer' - not so much directly, as that it makes people think they are completely protected and they carry on with the foolish over exposure...

Then it was 'nicotine is potentially a very useful drug' it's the smoking that's bad for you. It was fun for an old hippie to see nicotine as 'having so bad a public image that you could never get funding to study it', especially now that hemp cosmetics and foods and clothing and other spinoffs are becoming available - although we are still a long way from being prescribed THC for depression....

And then there was the New Scientist with 'sunshine is good for you' - yes it gives you skin cancer, but it also protects you from a lot of other types of cancer and other illnesses related to Vitamin D deficiency.

I feel like Woody Allen in Sleeper - I forget the exact quote, but the gist is that he wakes up 200 years from now to find that later research proved that the ideal diet is in fact Coke Burger and Fries.....

Well, I seem to be in Google churn at the moment.

Quite a lot of visitors, according to this new counter - you can look at the stats yourself, they're not hidden - several languages and countries, which is pleasing for a world citizen like myself.....

"Acting in 'Star Wars' I felt like a raisin in a giant fruit salad,
and I didn't even know who the cantaloupes were."


- Mark Hamill, imdb.com

Whoops! I seem to have lost my top slot in Google. I shouldn't have pulled my Home page for updating, and put it back without metatags, etc. Never mind - it just stops that 'I'm Feeling Lucky' gag for finding me easily....

Still, the interviews are buzzing, and people are visiting the site... I've been doing some friendly trading with people...

Hi Josh! Hi Lee!

And it's hot in the UK, so that's good, too. (I won't go on about my aches and pains, today...)

A BIG HELLO to new visitors. Since I put the counter on a couple of days ago I can see people dropping in to visit - probably in response to the interviews.

As you can probably tell from the look of the site, I am a 'cheap and cheerful' person. It's best not to think of me as some kind of film star. Right now I do a modest job for a modest wage - I still don't own any property, or have any savings, or pensions to look forward to!

I dropped out from school, determined to enjoy myself and to have adventures and not to work for anyone else - and succeeded very well at that.

When it comes to capitalism, money, property and social status, however - I remain a bohemian, or a Beat, a drop-out, or a hippie (or whatever word you use for someone so out-of-tune with celebrity, greed and fame). That doesn't mean it wasn't fun. Just don't assume I am any less human (or more superhuman) than yourself.....

The film business was just a little bit of lottery luck that got me through the 80s.

I have put a web counter on the front page for the moment. Just out of curiosity. I've done this a couple of times before (I am always experimenting with stuff that doesn't cost me anything - except stress when it screws up my PC).

So it has only been on for a day - and you can see if anyone else visits as easily as I can - because I haven't paid to hide the stats. What do I care. This whole thing could just be me writing in my den without anyone looking over my shoulder - and that's fine with me. This blog is mostly notes to myself - and links to cool stuff I come across, so I don't forget where I found them.

If anyone else pops in, fine, and welcome, but you'll have to look after yourself, I am not being a host.....

Mi casa es su casa

False Alarm - Bavarian Fire Drill - call it what you will. Google seems to have settled out again. Who knew it was so fickle?

Usually my home page comes in top, and then second place alternates between the Writings page (for some strange reason!) and Jabba's Left Hand Man (which seems unsurprising)...

And while I am at it, no I am not the Liberal Democrat politician of the same name, nor am I the business studies guy in Durham (who may or may not be the same guy) nor am I the eleven year old Toby who likes football. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to them all for dominating the cyberfields, but until I got onto the Web I thought I was unique (huh, didn't we all!) And I just happen to have done stuff which pushes me up the Google charts...

There aren't enough Toby Philpott's (54) to do a Dave Gorman show, unfortunately...

Doh! I cannot believe it! For the first time in about a couple of years my webpage is not top of the Google hit parade.

I wouldn't mind, but I have just started saying to people that there is no point in remembering my (complicated) webpage address, just put my name in Google and hit I'm Feeling Lucky. I don't want to go out and pay good money for a domain name. This is just a light-hearted hobby for me, and I don't want to start taking it so seriously - people will think I am really vain! Can you imagine? fnord

TOBY PHILPOTT DOT COM oh sure...

Anyway, maybe it's just the Google Dance. I wouldn't mind if it was my IMDb link at the top of the list, but it's that silly one at Hollywood.com, where they list me as Celebrity Number 1475096 (which I think is hilarious - I want a T-shirt made - talk about a Z-List celebrity!) and they don't even know I worked on Jabba... (hey ho)

Perhaps it is the shuffle created by the latest interview, which is getting cross-links from other fan sites like Episode-X and UnderGroundOnline

It would be a little ironic if I lost my standing because of getting more links...ah, the mysteries of the Google Algorithm.....

Although I enjoyed Soderberg's Solaris OK on it's own level it was ultimately unsatisfactory because of ending up with the lovers living happily ever after in some sort of 'heaven' where there is no pain. This is so far from the mysterious encounter with the alien ocean in the original movie as to be almost laughable.

Solaris was as weird as 2001, and people differed over what it 'meant' but one thing is certain - the ocean manifests as his suicidal wife while probing in his mind, but later she STOPS returning when the ocean takes a different approach. At this point the intelligent ocean tries to 'understand' and adapt to the human just as the human tries to reconcile with the ocean. We are talking a strange mixture of cosmic mysticism and truly alien encounter. To have it reduced to a 'second chance for happiness' and a 'happy ending fantasy life in an illusionary 'folie-a-deux' " seems so irritatingly trivial that I guess I am still mumbling on....

Hey ho - I shouldn't take it so personally, I guess. This from Underview

"In an attempt to appease whatever motivation lies behind the ocean's assault on their sanity, to deflect whatever power is tearing their lives apart, Kris and his companions agree to an experiment. An encephelogram of Kris's brain will be directed into the sea, in the hopes that the life force will be better able to comprehend the nature of humanity."

"Ocean Solaris begins to understand what gives Kris his humanity. When Kris's fever lifts, his first thought is of Hari. But she has gone, and will not return. Hari is not at the innermost core of his life force. The purpose of Kris's ordeal goes beyond assuaging the guilt that haunts him over Hari's death. "

"And what destiny is it that now awaits Kris? He has no reason to remain exiled in this distant place, but what is left for him back on earth? Just as Dave in 2001 underwent a transformation beyond the point of any human reference, so Kris's experiences have carried him long past the point where he can simply return whence he came; so his journey is almost complete. It is time for Kris to learn - or to be reminded - of his own true source and find his ultimate destination."

And it is his parents (his source) that he is reconciled with in the end.....

"Kelvin can never distance himself from the forces that shaped his own development. However far he journeys, he will ultimately be drawn back to his own roots. Even at the limits of human endurance, Kelvin is a creature of the earth and the people who gave him existence. The dream of returning home and eradicating the mistakes of his past lies at the core of Kelvin's being, but it takes an alien intelligence to perceive the dream.
Yet that alien intelligence, too, is subject to whatever laws may govern the universe. The inescapable fate bestowed by a spiritual, moral existence is to live with the conscience that arises from the actions a person takes, with no prospect of a second chance. Kelvin's ultimate destiny is to return to the place where he was born. He can go nowhere else."

But then again, Lem (the original author) found Tarkovsky's film irritatingly emotional, mystical and glum –

"The whole sphere of cognitive and epistemological considerations was extremely important in my book and it was tightly coupled to the solaristic literature and to the essence of solaristics as such. Unfortunately, the film has been robbed of those qualities rather thoroughly. Only in small bits and through the tracking camera shots we discover the fates of those present at the station but these fates should not be any existential anecdote either but a grand question concerning man's position in Cosmos, etc.
My Kelvin decides to stay on the planet without any hope whatsoever while Tarkovsky created an image where some kind of an island appears, and on that island a hut. And when I hear about the hut and the island I'm beside myself with irritation... This is just some emotional sauce into which Tarkovsky has submerged his heroes, not to mention that he has completely amputated the scientific landscape and in its place introduced so much of the weirdness I cannot stand."

So I guess they are all separate but related bits of art, and I shouldn't get so mad....

This from Salon
"Soderbergh's film is probably not the equal of either Tarkovsky's 1972 predecessor or the memorably Byzantine prose of Lem's novel, but in the end, almost despite himself, this able craftsman has made a brave and lovely companion piece to both of them. His ending is pure cinema at its most marvelous and moving; it brings Kelvin full circle and renders irrelevant all questions about where he is, whether he's alive or dead, whether he's with Rheya or alone. He's in a movie, after all, and if that's not immortality it's about the closest thing we've got. "

This from Shaking Through

"Soderbergh boils Solaris down to one central conceit: Love is stronger than death. Lem touched on this notion, but debunked it as useless romanticizing, yet another example of humans trying to impose their will on immutable universal law. For Soderbergh, however, love can triumph over death, as it has in recent films like Ghost and Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula. Soderbergh also understands basic economics: will audiences really go for a brooding meditation on time, memory and intransigent contact with a living ocean, or would they prefer to see George Clooney (playing Dr. Chris Kelvin in the update) and the striking Natascha McElhone (as Rheya) falling in love and getting naked? "

Which just about sums it up...... I have no great affection for 'Love Conquers All' as a plot - simply because, when it doesn't, people just say "Well that can't have been true love..." (sigh)