Friday, January 31, 2003

Back at work, and got an email from Jules asking if I really am going to get to Amsterdam, or was just playing with the idea. I guess it's a good enough plan to break up this 'tired behind the eyes' feeling that I live with at the moment. I know I didn't have a proper holiday since last February (that could be something to do with it!), and emotional times make me sleepy [it's an evasion, if you're negative, or nature's own Valium if (like me) you think your bodymind knows what it is doing, and how to do it....] A touch of the hibernations, too.

Shaved my beard off last night - to mark the day. I have often cut my hair or shaved the beard as a 'marker'....of course, some people at work react and others don't. At least somebody came up with 'It makes you look older' today - which I liked, although it thwarts my own (tired old) response to 'looking younger' - 'of course I look younger, I look as though I haven't reached puberty!'

Whether I manage to keep shaving long enough for Julie to enjoy it in March, I have no idea. It grew out in three weeks abroad last year. Mike in the Leisure Dept (long scraggly beard and short hair) says he often gets asked if he is Jewish or a Muslim...and I pontificated about this clean-shaven thing being Christian (dating back to when the Roman soldiers brought it over here) - with pagans and barbarians being hirsute. Just another of the less than sensual aspects of Christianity (although these days people seem more scared of hair than ever before. Guys seem to want woman as smooth and shiny as their car. It figures. Although women seem to be willing co-conspirators in that.

Anyway...Friday coming up, and I have books and videos and DVDs. I have no real reason for feeling lonely...and I used to enjoy being I guess this is love (Doh!)

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